


You were there

by Carefulthatsenough



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amnesia, M/M, Memory Loss, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-28 02:44:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 28,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10066943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carefulthatsenough/pseuds/Carefulthatsenough
Summary: Memories are a tricky thing, especially when Hux loses five years worth of them and he needs answers to what actually happened in these five years.He's the only one with all the answers if he could just remember and that Kylo guy is not helping, he's making everything even more complicated.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Amnesia fic here we go

_“Hux, look out…”_

 

Beep

Beep

Beep

 

 

With that sound, Hux knows that he’s in a hospital before even opening his eyes. He can feel the sheets around him, he can feel the needle of the IV in his hand, he can smell that unique smell that all hospitals have in common. He opens his eyes then and closes them quickly the light is too bright and it does nothing to help his headache. How did he miss the headache his head feels like it’s going to blow.

He tries again and opens them slowly this time, it hurts less, he lets them adapt to the light and then tries looking around.

He wasn’t wrong, he’s in the hospital.

Why is he in the hospital?

Did something happen to him?

He can’t remember.

The door to his room opens, and a man comes in, he can tell right away that he’s not a doctor. The man is tall, broad shoulders, long black hair and he’s holding a cup of coffee. He has no idea who that is, maybe he came in the wrong room.

“Hux” says the man and comes rushing to his side, he quickly crosses the room and places the cup of coffee on the nightstand next to Hux and then he takes Hux hand in his own.

Apparently, the man knows him. His eyes are red, like he’s been crying, his hair is a mess and the way he looks at him with this hopeful expression while holding his hand is really confusing.

“Who are you?” Hux asks and his voice sounds broken and hoarse, he feels like he swallowed sand and he’s in desperate need of water.

The hopeful expression that the man wore earlier disappears filled with surprise and sadness.

“They said you might have memory problems” the man says and clears his throat “I’m Kylo”

“I lost my memory? How did this happen? What happened to me?” Hux says starting to panic, he didn’t even check if he has any other injury on his body, is something broken, he can’t tell.

“Hux, don’t panic, please calm down” Kylo says, tightening his grip on Hux hand but that doesn’t help him calm down.

He lost his memory. How does this even happen?

“Come on, breathe with me, please” Kylo says and places Hux hand on his chest so that he can match Kylo breathing. He looks at his hand on Kylo chest moving with each breath that Kylo takes and he tries to match it.

“Doctor” Hux says between breaths “I need to talk to one”

“Yes, of course” Kylo says. He doesn’t let go of Hux’s hand, he uses his other hand to buzz the nurse.

A few seconds later a nurse comes rushing in.

“He’s awake. He needs to see the doctor” Kylo says.

 

When the doctor finally comes, he asks Kylo to leave the room, Kylo looks like he’s going to argue about this but he nods “I’ll be right outside the door” He tells Hux giving him a small smile as if this is supposed to comfort Hux. He doesn’t even know who the man is but judging by Kylo reactions they’re pretty close.

The doctor explains to him what happened, he was crossing the street and he got hit by a bike he fell, hit his head on the pavement, his colleague was with him and he instantly called for help. He got a couple of bruises on his body but the big damage is the hit his head took.

He lost his memory.

Obviously.

“What is your name?” the doctor asks after explaining everything to him.

“Armitage Hux but I prefer Hux” he says.

“How old are you?” the doctor asks again.

“Mmm 25, I think?” he answers, the doctor face is a perfect mask Hux can’t tell if his answer is wrong or right.

“What year do you think it is?” the doctor asks.

“2012” he says.

“Based on your answer it appears that you lost almost five years of your life” the doctor says.

Five years.

Five full years, he must be thirty now. What about his job? Or his family? What about that Kylo that was just here? There’s just so many questions and he doesn’t have an answer because he lost five years.

“Will I remember?” Hux asks trying not to feel too hopeful.

“It’s hard to say, Mr. Hux each case is different, you might remember in a few weeks or months or even years or you might not remember at all” the doctor says.

Hux is silent he doesn’t know what to say to that.

“Is it going to affect other parts of my brain? Did the hit do any other kind of damage?” Hux asks.

“No, the amnesia is the only thing that the hit to your head caused” the doctor says.

“When will I get discharged?” he needs to leave this hospital, he can’t stand staying in hospitals.

“In a couple of days” the doctor says.

“Oh” Hux says.

“Do you have any other question?” the doctor asks.

He has a thousand questions but the doctor doesn’t have the answer to them.

“Not that I can think of” he says.

“I’ll leave you to relax, maybe your friend outside can answer some questions you have about your life” the doctor says.

“Yes, maybe” Hux says.

“I’ll let him in but you also need to rest” the doctor says and then leaves.

He opens the door and the minute the doctor is out Kylo gets in, he actually did wait outside.

“Hey” Kylo says.

Hux tries to smile at him but it probably looks like a grimace. Kylo sits on the chair near the bed and takes his coffee back and takes a sip, Hux just stares at him. Wondering who this man is and wondering where does he fit in Hux life in the last five years that he forgot about.

“Who are you exactly? I mean to me” Hux says. Carefully trying to judge Kylo reactions.

 Kylo straightens up in his chair and runs a hand through his hair making it even messier.

“I’m your roommate” Kylo says, not looking into Hux eyes and fidgeting.

“My roommate?” Hux asks surprised he wasn’t expecting this, he doesn’t know what he was expecting but it wasn’t that the way Kylo is acting shows that they’re closer than just roommates.

“That came out wrong, we’re friends and we live together, you needed a roommate around three years ago, and you got me so we’re roommates kind of and we became friends somehow…” Kylo says.

“Okay” Hux says.

“Why are you here?” Hux asks.

“I’m your emergency contact, they called me as soon as you got to the hospital” Kylo says.

“Oh” Hux says.

“Don’t worry I called Techie but you’ve been out for a day and he needed to go home to shower and rest, I kind of forced him to go he looked as bad as you” Kylo says.

“Is he coming back?” Hux asks, seeing his brother would really help him at the moment.

“Yes, but visiting hours are over in like fifteen minutes so it’ll have to be tomorrow” Kylo says.

“Why are you here?” Hux asks.

“I already answered this question” Kylo says, frowning.

“No, I mean why are you still here and your eyes are red, have you been crying?” Hux says, he didn’t mean to be so blunt but everything is so confusing and he needs to know why this man is crying over him.

Kylo sighs “I was really worried about you and yes I’ve been crying as you like to always remind me I’m a crybaby”

“I don’t remember calling you that but it does sound like me” Hux says and Kylo laughs.

“Yes, it does” Kylo says.

“The doctor said that I’ll be able to leave in a couple of days” Hux says.

“Yes, he told me that too” Kylo says nodding.

“I’ll go back to where we live, right?” He asks, Kylo nods frowning a little “I don’t remember it is it nice?”

“Oh, yes it’s great, it’s pretty big. We live on the second floor I could describe it to you but it’ll be better when you get there and see it for yourself” Kylo says.

“Yes, and…” Hux start saying but a knock on the door interrupts him, a nurse comes in.

“Visiting hours are over” he tells them.

“Oh” Kylo says.

Hux doesn’t want him to leave, he doesn’t want to be alone, he’ll start panicking again.

“I have to go then” Kylo says getting up, he looks taller than him but only by a little “I’ll come back tomorrow and Techie will be here too of course” he says.

“Okay, bye” Hux says and he tries to smile again hoping that this time it will look like an actual smile.

“Bye, Hux” Kylo says and leaves Hux all by himself with his thoughts.

Thinking about seeing Techie tomorrow relaxes him a little. At least it will be a familiar face and he trusts his brother to give him all the answer he needs, Kylo seems nice but he doesn’t trust him he doesn’t even know him.

He closes his eyes and hopes that when he opens them again he’ll have his memory back.

 

It doesn’t work.

 

He hates being in a hospital, he doesn’t mind hospitals when other people are in it or when he’s having some kind of checkup, he doesn’t even mind being sick but staying in a hospital bed is something he isn’t capable of doing. He remembers that when he was ten years old and he fell and broke his leg he refused to sleep in the hospital, he didn’t care about the operation, didn’t care about the cast that was covering his whole leg, he wanted to leave he threw a fit just to be able to leave and he did leave.

He feels hopeful that he remembers that even if it’s from almost twenty years ago, and has nothing to do with the memory he lost, it’s good to know that he at least remembers some parts of his life.

He didn’t know that amnesia was so scary, he’s kind of ashamed to admit that he is scared because there isn’t much to be afraid of but the not knowing is killing him.

Every time someone passes near his room or when a nurse open the door to his room, he thinks it’s Techie or even Kylo.

He’s looking outside the window looking at the road and at the traffic, he should ask if he will be able to drive his car, when he hears a knock on his door.

“Armie” Techie says and Hux turns his head so quickly that it hurts and he has to close his eyes for a few minutes before opening them.

It’s Techie, he can barely contain the relief that he’s feeling right now, the sight of his brother is what he needs right now.

“Your hair is longer” is the first thing he says because he doesn’t remember Techie having long hair, his father would probably have a stroke if he saw Techie with the hair that he has now.

Techie smiles at him and runs a hand through his hair “Yes, it is. When was the last time you saw me, I mean that you remember seeing me? Kylo said that you lost five years” Techie says coming and sitting at the foot of Hux hospital bed.

“Yes, five. God, Tech I hate this” Hux says, trying to fight his tears now that his brother is here, he’s guaranteed to be an emotional mess, Techie has the power to bring out all of his emotions but he needs the comfort that his brother offers right now.

“It’s okay” Techie says.

“No, it’s not I don’t even know who I am” Hux says.

“You’re still you there is only some things you don’t remember but you’re still you.” Hux wants to object but Techie doesn’t let him “No, don’t say anything about that. I’ve know you all my life, actually I’ve know you even before I was born so when I say that you’re still the same and that you are who you are, it’s the truth” Techie says.

Hux is having a hard time fighting his tears, he feels one already trailing down his cheeks.

“I just hate this, not knowing…” Hux says.

“I know” Techie says.

“I might even never remember” Hux says.

“It’s okay, you’ll make new memories. Please don’t cry you know that when you cry I start crying too” Techie says.

Hux laughs at that.

“I’m glad you’re here Tech” Hux says.

“I’m glad you’re okay Armie I was so scared” Techie says.

“I can’t believe your hair is long now” he says.

“Yes, I like it this way” Techie says shrugging.

“Well it suits you, it would look horrible on me but it suits you” Hux says.

Techie laughs “We have the same face you idiot”

“But not the same hair, not anymore” Hux says.

“Oh, shut up. You really haven’t changed. You’re just old now” Techie says.

“Old _er_ ” Hux says smiling, Techie rolls his eyes and Hux can’t help noticing that he looks good, his eyes aren’t as red as the last time he saw him, his smile is coming easier than it used to, he’s even dressed different, his clothes still look a little baggy on him but not as much as they used to. He wonders how he looks right now.

“You look different” He tells him.

“Good or bad different?” Techie says frowning a little.

“Good, you look better than the last time I saw you” Hux says.

Techie smiles at him “You don’t look better than the last time I saw you, you kind of look horrible, like you got hit by a car” he says laughing.

Hux can’t help laughing too, Techie doesn’t usually smile and make jokes seeing his brother like this makes him feel good and maybe the last five years were good to him too maybe he’s a happy as Techie looks right now.

“Since when do you have a sense of humor?” He says between laughs. Techie stiffens at that and his smile drops, he starts fidgeting and he runs his hand through his hair, he can’t help but notice that it’s the same thing that Kylo did, he should ask him about Kylo.

“Since father died” Techie says so low that Hux barely hears it lowering his eyes.

Hux blinks.

“He’s dead?” the words are out of his mouth before he can think them, Techie nods.

“Heart attack” Techie says without Hux even asking.

Hux is silent, he doesn’t know what to say, he never liked his father. He wonders how he felt when his father died because right now he doesn’t feel anything.

“When?” he asks.

“Around two years ago” Techie answers.

“Okay” Hux says “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine” Techie says, still fidgeting a little “Don’t worry about me right now, just try to rest”

Hux sighs “That’s what I’ve been doing since I woke up yesterday. I’d rather go home and rest even if I don’t even know where I live anymore”

“Your house is pretty nice and Kylo was here yesterday, don’t worry about this” Techie says.

“That Kylo guy can I trust him?” Hux asks, he doesn’t know anything about the guy, no one can blame him of being suspicious of him.

“Yes, Kylo is fine. You guys kind of argue a lot but recently you’ve been getting along better” Techie says shrugging.

“We live together” Hux says.

“Yes, and?” Techie says.

“Nothing. I just don’t know him and I just have many questions about him. I think it’s better if I asked him” Hux says.

“It would be better but if you don’t want to go to him, you can…like…live with me or something” Techie says not looking in his eyes, focusing on the wall behind Hux.

“No, no it’s fine. I’m thirty years old I can handle myself and I’ve already lived with him for three years” Hux says.

Techie for some reason looks relieved as if he didn’t want Hux to live with him or something.

“Where do you live, is it near?” Hux asks, he’s curious he can’t not ask.

“Yes, I’m kind of just across the street four buildings to the right” Techie says.

“And…” Hux says but he’s cut off by the sound of Techie phone. Techie looks at him apologetically “I have to take this” he says and walks to the window to take the call.

When he hangs up, Techie comes back but doesn’t sit on the bed “I’m sorry but I have to go” he says.

“Oh, it’s okay” Hux says trying to smile and hide his disappointment.

“Kylo will be here later I think and tomorrow you will be discharged so just try to rest and tomorrow you’ll be home” Techie says. He leans in and kisses Hux on the forehead.

“Bye Tech” Hux says.

“Bye Armie” Techie says and leaves.

Hux spends the rest of his day bored out of his mind just flipping through the few channels available in the tiny TV in his hospital room. When Kylo comes later on Hux has never been so happy to see a man he barely knows.

“I just can’t wait to go back home, I don’t know what it looks like or where it is but I just want to leave the hospital” Hux says, Kylo laughs.

“Millie misses you she’ll be happy to have you back” Kylo says. Who the hell is Millie? Is she his girlfriend? And if yes why hasn’t she come and visit yet.

Wait.

He’s gay.

He doesn’t do girlfriends.

“Millie?” Hux says confused.

Kylo looks so offended at that “I cannot believe you forgot about Millie”

“I did lose all of my memory so it’s only fair that I forgot about this Millie” Hux says frowning.

“She’s like the love of your life” Kylo says.

Hux opens his mouth to say something then closes it again because he has no idea how to answer that.

Kylo burst into laughs “Oh my god, your face. I’m dying”

“It’s not funny stop laughing, who is Millie?” Hux says.

“She’s your cat” Kylo says still laughing.

Hux blinks.

What?

“I have a cat?” Hux asks completely lost.

“Yes, she’s horrible, she hates me and you love her more than anything maybe when you see her you should kiss her and your true love kiss will break the spell and you’ll get your memory back” Kylo says grinning like an idiot at his own stupid joke.

“I cannot believe I live with you” Hux says “I have a cat, I did not know that I was a cat person”

Kylo shrugs “You rescued her from a shelter and she kept scratching me and hissing at me, it took only a few minutes for you to fall in love with her”

“I am not in love with a cat” Hux says.

“Keep telling yourself that” Kylo says.

Hux glares at him but Kylo continues grinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it, kudos and comments are always appreciated and make me happy!
> 
> Here's [my tumblr](http://chillanddrinkcoffee.tumblr.com/) and my [kylux sideblog](https://kyluxempire.tumblr.com/)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to updated it every week if not it will be max three weeks between chapters.
> 
> I'll add more tags and characters as the story goes on. 
> 
> I'm going to try to stick to the schedule.

“Here are your clothes, I didn’t know which ones you’d want to wear so I brought you the ones that you usually wear on your days off.” Kylo says, placing the bag that he was holding on the end of Hux hospital bed.

Techie who was sitting on one of the chairs that were in the room laughed “You should have brought him one of his precious

 suits”

“I thought about it actually but he’ll probably murder me if I mess up his suits” Kylo says, smiling at Techie.

“I’m right here. Finally, I’m getting out of here” Hux says, ignoring both of them. He’s been waiting all morning for Kylo to come and bring him his clothes so that he could finally leave. “Now both of you get out so that I can change out of this hideous thing that I’ve been wearing for three days”

“It’s not like I haven’t seen it before, don’t need to be shy we’re identical” Techie says.

Kylo raises an eyebrow “I’ve always wondered if twins were _really_ identical” Kylo says winking at Hux. Techie blushes but he still laughs.

“You’ll never know” Techie says but he’s still as red as his hair.

“Out” Hux says again, he’s not sure if he’s blushing, he really hopes that he’s not.

Kylo and Techie look at each other and shrug both making their way out of the room.

“I can’t wait to see him on the weal chair when they take him out” he hears Kylo says.

“Yes, I’m going to take so many pictures, he’ll probably scowl the whole way” Techie answers laughing.

Hux sighs at the two of them, he had no idea that Techie and that Kylo guy were friends or something but he’s one hundred percent sure that they’re going to gang up on him but he must admit that it’s good seeing Techie joking and being comfortable with someone that isn’t him.

Kylo brought him a dark jean and a dark green shirt to wear, he also brought underwear, socks and shoes. He doesn’t know how he feels about a guy he barely knows going through his underwear drawer.

He’s also nervous about going home with him, it’s ridiculous really but he doesn’t know what to expect.

Hux likes his space, he likes keeping it clean having everything in order. What if Kylo throws his things everywhere and never cleans after himself? What if he doesn’t place his drinks on a coaster? What if he always makes a mess of the bathroom after he showers? Do they have one or two bathrooms?

All those questions are doing nothing to help his headache.

He changes into the clothes that Kylo brought with him, he just wants to go home, maybe shower and try to relax in his own bed.

He’s also excited to meet his cat.

He ties his shoes and goes to open the door, Techie and Kylo are leaning on the wall next to the door whispering. They both look up when he opens the door.

“I’m ready to go” He says.

“Great” Kylo says.

When the nurse with the weal chair comes, Techie takes out his phone.

“Is this really necessary?” the question is directed to both the nurse and Techie.

“Yes, it’s policy” the nurse says.

“You never know you might lose your memory again this needs to be catalogued” Techie says making Kylo laugh.

“I liked you more without a sense of humor” Hux says, sitting on the weal chair and crossing his arms scowling. He catches Kylo amused look and glares at him, Kylo smile just grows. Hux stomach does something weird at that. He ignores it.

Kylo guides them to where he parked his car, he opens the passenger door to Hux and he gives him his hand to help as if Hux can’t stand by himself.

“It’s okay, I lost my memory not my ability to walk” Hux says and gets up on his own to get in the passenger seat.

Techie gets right behind him in the car, opening the window to let fresh air in. Kylo starts the car and gets out of the parking. He’s driving slowly, Hux doesn’t remember how Kylo usually drives but he’s sure that he is driving carefully now for Hux comfort. Hux closes his eyes and leans his head on the seat.

 

A hand on his elbow makes him snap his eyes open. When did the car stop? Did he fall asleep?

“We’re here” Kylo says, his hand still on Hux’s elbow.

“Oh” Hux says, they’re in an underground parking lot.

He hears Techie getting out of the car behind him and opening Hux door.

“Come on, Armie” Techie says.

Hux slowly gets out of the car. Thank god, he’s steady on his feet, he doesn’t want Techie or Kylo to help him. He can walk alone.

Like Kylo already told him they live on the second floor. Hux feels so nervous in the elevator, it’s so frustrating there is no reason to be nervous. He’s just going back to his apartment, something that should be normal not stressful.

The apartment is nice and simple and it’s actually quite in order, he was expecting Kylo to have made a mess but everything looks clean and in order.

Maybe he’s judging Kylo a little too hard.

“Welcome Home” Kylo says from behind him. He stopped in the middle of the doorway just standing there and looking. He takes a few steps in to let Kylo and Techie in.

“It’s nice, I was expecting something else” Hux says.

“Really? Like what?” Kylo says.

“Not sure but not that, I like it. It’s me” Hux says and it really is, this apartment feels like it’s piece of himself, everything is the way he likes it.

“Yes, it is because you’re the one who chose and bought all the furniture, you didn’t let anyone choose. It was one of the worst weeks of my life when you were moving here, you dragged me everywhere and for some reason you thought I could help you carry the furniture. I can barely carry my own laptop case, Armie” Techie says.

“Then, you should work out more” Hux says.

Techie rolls his eyes at him and goes to sit on the couch.

Something orange and fluffy comes running to Hux.

That must be Millicent. He kneels down to look at her.

“That’s Millicent?” He asks.

“Yup, the love of your life” Kylo says, Hux can feel him rolling his eyes.

Hux ignores the last part he pats the cat on the head “Hello”. She’s cute and she has the same coloring as him, apparently, he’s more narcissistic than he thought.

Millicent tries to lick his hand but he moves it away “No, don’t do that. I don’t know if I usually let you do that but not anymore” he says to her.

It seems like she doesn’t care she bumps her head into his hand and then moves away, jumping on the couch next to Techie who starts petting her.

The whole situation is weird. He is not used to that kind of situation.

“Do you want something to drink?” Kylo asks him.

Hux looks at him cocking his head “I feel like I shouldn’t be treated as a guest in my own house, it would be better if I knew where the kitchen is and how to get my own glass of water” he says.

“Yes, good idea” Kylo says.

Hux follows Kylo to the kitchen.

“Would you like a little tour of the kitchen, like this you can know where everything is?” Kylo asks.

“Yes” Hux says.

Kylo just shows him where the usual things are, it’s really not difficult but it’s better than just trying his luck and opening random drawers just to get a spoon.

“If there is anything you can’t remember or anything you need, just tell me. I’m here to help” Kylo says.

Hux looks at him and nods.

Techie is still on the couch, his phone in his hands, texting someone there’s a little smile on his face.

That reminds Hux “Phone” he says loudly.

“What?” Kylo says and Techie looks up at him startled.

“I probably have a phone. Where is it?” Hux asks.

“Wait, they gave it to me when I got to the hospital, it’s in my room I’ll go and get it” Kylo says, heading to a door on his right that must be his bedroom. He comes back a few seconds later and places a phone in Hux hand.

“I don’t remember my password” Hux says.

“You can use your fingerprint it’s okay” Techie says.

“My fingerprint?” Hux asks incredulous.

“Yes” Techie says he looks amused by Hux reaction.

“The future is not what I imagined. Fingerprints wow!” Hux says.

Kylo and Techie laugh.

“Don’t laugh at me, I have a brain injury” Hux says.

“You’ll be fine” Techie says.

“Not sure about that” Hux says.

The screen is a little bit cracked but he has a lot of missed calsl and message from Phasma and a text form Mitaka, thank god, he remembers them, they did go to university with him and work with him.

“I’m still a lawyer, right?” Hux asks.

“Yes, you even started your own firm” Techie says.

That makes him smile “Really? I did?”

“Yes, you won a major case and that got you a lot of clients, you and Phasma are partners” Techie says.

“What kind of case?” Hux says. He feels so proud of himself for accomplishing what he always wanted to do.

Techie looks at Kylo who has been silent during the whole exchange.

“Umm, you’ll read about it later. You should rest for now. You have the rest of the week off” Techie says.

“What? No. I can’t just not go to work what if I miss something important. I have to go and get updated on everything, it’s my firm.” Hux says, he’s not going to take days off just because he lost his memory, he needs to catch up.

“There you go again, work, work, work. Take a break for once in your life, you have a fucking brain injury stop thinking about work for a few seconds” Kylo says and his voice is full of anger, Hux is startled by his outburst.

“I have to catch up” Hux says cautiously.

“God, Hux for once in your life just take a break” Kylo says, his voice rising a little.

Who does he think he is to talk to him like that? As if Hux will listen to him.

“It’s work, I can’t…” he says but Kylo interrupts him.

“I’m not having this argument again with you, I’m so sick of it” Kylo says, he looks defeated and his hands are fists on his sides.

“Okay, I know you guys like to argue but just don’t right now. Hux you need to rest, you fell asleep in the car. You do have a brain injury, you need to rest” Techie says.

“But…” Hux says.

“Look, even Phasma won’t let you go back to work right now, just take the rest of the week off” Techie says.

He doesn’t know how to answer that “Where’s my room if you two are so obsessed with me getting rest, then I’m going to shower and take a nap”.

“Second door to the right” Kylo says.

Without saying anything else he goes to his room. It’s mostly shades of grey and a little bit of white. Hux bed is big, it looks so comfy. He needs to change his clothes, shower, change into something super comfortable and then take a nap.

He finds the closet and pulls out some sweatpants and a big shirt with Star Wars written in big bold letters in the front. Where did he get that? It looks comfy and it smells nice, so he decides to wear it.

He goes to the bathroom, he has his own bathroom, thank god.

There’s a lot of hair product, he doesn’t know what half of them are for but it doesn’t matter right now, he just wants a quick shower and to go take a nap.

The hot water is amazing and he almost stays in the shower forever but his eyes keep closing on their own.

He dries himself and tries his best to dry his hair but he’s too tired to care about the state of his hair at the moment, he pulls on the comfy sweats and shirt and collapses on his bed.

He’s asleep the minute his eyes close.

 

He wakes up without a headache for a moment he forgets where he is and what happened to him but ironically, he then remembers that he lost his memory, he stumbles out of bed almost tripping on Millicent that probably sneaked in when he was asleep, she hisses at him and jumps on the bed, curling on herself. He thinks about shooing her from the bed but his old self probably let’s her and knowing himself she’s probably always clean so he just leaves her there.

The apartment looks empty but there’s some light coming out of Kylo open door, he knocks.

“Hux, seriously you don’t have to knock just get in” Kylo says.

He pushes the door so that it’s completely open. Kylo’s room has a lot of black in it. He isn’t surprised by that.

“Did Techie leave?” Hux asks.

“Yes, an hour ago, he just went to work to check on things he’ll probably come back later tonight” Kylo says, looking up at Hux and smiling at him, his eyes linger on Hux shirt a little, he was typing something on his laptop when Hux came in his room.

“What does he do? I didn’t even think about asking him” Hux says, he should have asked more details about Techie life. He hates this.

“He’s the head of IT in your firm” Kylo says.

“He works for me? When did this happen?” Hux says, he wasn’t expecting that.

“Mmm, yes you better talk to him about this” Kylo says.

“And what do you do?” Hux asks.

Kylo looks like he’s thinking about his answer before saying something “I used to do some kind of security work but now I teach boxing and martial arts” Kylo says shrugging.

There’s probably something more to the story but he’s not going to push for it.

“What hour is it?” Hux asks.

“Almost three PM” Kylo says.

“I didn’t know I slept this long” Hux says.

“Are you hungry or something I can make you something to eat” Kylo says.

“Don’t you have work?” Hux asks.

“It’s mostly morning or evening classes, right now I don’t have any and I took a couple days off anyway” Kylo says.

“You didn’t have to do that for me” Hux says, frowning. Why would he take days off just to take care of him? And it’s not as if Hux needs that much help. He just lost his memory, he’ll survive a few hours alone.

“It’s okay I don’t mind” Kylo says “Come on you have to eat something at least”

Hux is hungry so he’s not about to protest if Kylo wants to make something for him then he’ll let him.


	3. Chapter 3

Hux wasn’t expecting Phasma to show up with Techie for diner but he is so happy to see her. She didn’t change a bit, she still has the same style, the same face and thank god, the same hair style. With Techie and Kylo with long hair he was expecting her to have long wavy hair or something. It’s good to know that some things never change.

“You recognize me, yes?” Phasma says, instead of greeting him like normal people do.

“Of course, I do” He says rolling his eyes, he goes and hugs her and he blames that on his head injury because he is not a hugger. Phasma seems as surprised as him, in their long years of friendship they probably maybe hugged twice, _maybe_.

“That’s new” She says but she stills hugs him back.

“Don’t get used to it, I’m on a lot of medication right now. I am not responsible for my actions” Hux says, she laughs.

“What are you even wearing?” Phasma says raising an eyebrow when she notices Hux’s shirt. He would have changed if he knew that she was coming. She is impeccably dressed as always, he would have worn one of his suits maybe, he noticed that he has a lot of them. He’s always been a huge fan of suits and he still is.

“Shut up, I found it in my closet and it’s comfy” Hux says for some reason defending his shirt.

“Whatever you say” Phasma says smiling.

“We brought you food, from your favorite place” Techie says holding up the bags in his hands. Kylo goes to him and takes them from him heading to the kitchen.

“What is my favorite place?” Hux asks.

Phasma laughs again “This is going to be fun. Sushi place, you’re obsessed with it”

“Let’s see about that and don’t make fun of me I have a brain injury” Hux says giving Phasma a look to drop the subject.

Kylo set up the food on the table. “Look at you, such a good housewife” Phasma says to Kylo when she sees the table already set Kylo glares at her but doesn’t say anything back.

“Let’s eat, I’m starving” Hux says.

 

“That is good” Hux says after his first bite.

“Told you” Phasma says.

They eat in silence for a few minutes everyone enjoying their food. It tastes amazing.

“Why didn’t Mitaka come?” Hux asks. If Phasma is here Mitaka should be here, especially if they work together.

“I thought it would be better if he came tomorrow or some other day, you probably wouldn’t appreciate seeing him cry and hugging you and then crying even more” Phasma says.

“Why would he be so emotional? Even for him this is extreme” Hux says, he knows Mitaka he’s not that dramatic.

“No, Hux, he’s the one that saw you get hit by the car and lying unconscious and bleeding on the floor, it’s not extreme if he thought that you were dying in front of him. He’s still not over that particular image” Phasma says.

Hux pauses with his food half way to his mouth “I didn’t know that it was him with me, no one told me that he was the one with me when the accident happened. Oh my god he must be so traumatized” Hux says horrified.

Poor Mitaka

“Mostly shaken and a little bit emotional but not as traumatized as when Kylo tried to choke him to death” Phasma says.

“You did what?” Hux snaps his head at Kylo glaring daggers at him. Why would he do that? Why would anyone hurt poor Mitaka?

Kylo doesn’t even look up from his plate when he answers “You already screamed at me enough for that, and to my defense I was having a horrible day and you’re the one who sent him to me, so it’s basically your fault”

“How is that my fault? I’m not the one who tried to choke him to death” Hux says.

“But you sent him to me with bad news and I wasn’t trying to kill him I just lost it for a few seconds” Kylo says still not looking at him it angers Hux even more, that Kylo seems like he doesn’t care about what happened. He tried to strangle a man.

“Can you not control your anger?” Hux says raising his voice.

Kylo finally looks up at him with a bitter smile in his face “Not really but you should know that” he says.

Hux is furious. He feels like punching him in the face. How dare Kylo bring up Hux memory loss when they are arguing about something else. He has no right to talk to him like this.

He looks away from Kylo because he is not an animal and will not result to violence when angered, like someone else. He’s met with two incredulous stares.

“That was intense. You guys never change” Phasma says.

Techie says “Let’s just change the subject, please” the look on his face reminds Hux of his father screaming and Techie looking down at his feet with tears in his eyes and then getting screamed at even more because he was crying. Hux would always come to defend him.

Techie always flinched when someone raised their voice too much or was a little bit aggressive. Hux still knows that, he hasn’t forgotten that. He shouldn’t have started an argument with Kylo in front of Techie. He doesn’t want his brother to feel uncomfortable around him.

He should apologize and just change the subject. “Sorry, Tech, I heard you work for me?” Hux asks.

“Yes…kind of but not really…not just for you I work a lot of…Ummm… freelance but I’m the head of your IT department also” Techie says falling over his words like he usually does when he’s nervous.

“He’s the best” Phasma says “Best thing we ever did was getting him especially since a lot of people tried to hack into our systems and steal our files”

“Someone did that?” Hux asks.   

“Yes, they tried too, don’t worry about it Techie handled everything perfectly” Phasma says smiling at Techie.

“I should go back to work, right?” Hux says directing the question at Phasma feeling hopeful.

“No” Phasma says and her tone gives no room for argument.

Hux sighs but drops it, he’s not going to go against Kylo, Techie _and_ Phasma.

“When can I go back?” Hux asks instead.

“Next week is good” Phasma says.

 

 

Phasma leaves first, Techie and Kylo are doing the dishes in the kitchen and Hux is in the living room.

He hears a phone ringing, it’s not his. He finds the phone on the coffee table.

“Guys, there’s a phone ringing” He screams so that Kylo and Techie can hear him.

Techie comes out of the kitchen, drying his hands “That’s mine” he says and quickly grabs it out of Hux’s hand. He frowns at the phone then looks back at Hux.

He declines the call. “I should go, it’s getting late” Techie says.

“Who’s Matt?” Hux asks.

Techie face does something weird but then he shrugs “He’s a friend”

“Do I know him?” Hux asks.

“Not really” Techie says not looking him in the eyes.

“Who are you talking about?” Kylo says from the kitchen doorway.

“Some guy called Matt just called him and now he has to leave” Hux says.

Kylo crosses his arms in front of his chest, Hux just notices that he has big muscular arms. That’s kind of hot he could easily lift Hux and literally sweep him out of his feet. He almost misses the look between Techie and Kylo when he stares a little bit longer than necessary at Kylo’s arms.

“It is getting late. Do you want me to drive you home?” Kylo asks Techie.

“No, it’s okay I can walk it’s like teb minutes away” Techie says.

“Are you sure?” Kylo says.

“I would feel better if you let Kylo drive you home. It’s safer please Tech” Hux says. He can’t help it, he still is the big brother even if it is by just seven minutes.

Techie looks like he’s going to say no again.

“If Hux and I are agreeing on something tonight then you should just go with it” Kylo says grinning at him, Hux just rolls his eyes.

Techie smiles at that “I can’t argue with that logic. Okay I’ll let you drive me home”

“Let me just get my keys” Kylo says and leaves the room.              

“Bye, Armie I’ll come back tomorrow” Techie says.

Hux rolls his eyes “You don’t have to, you know that I’ll be fine and there’s Kylo here, it’s not like I’ll be alone. Actually, I think you shouldn’t let me stay with him if he already tried to choke Mitaka. What’s his deal anyway?” Hux says he’s half joking but Techie narrows his eyes at him.

“Stop being so hard on him, he would never hurt you. Just ask him what you want to know instead of fighting about it and making up some stories about him in your head” Techie says. Hux shuts up because he has never heard that tone of voice on Techie before.

What happened in these last five years?

“Got them, let’s go” says Kylo coming into the room “I’ll be back in fifteen minutes max” he tells Hux.

“Okay, bye Techie” Hux says and goes to hug his brother.

“Bye” Techie says, hugging him back.

 

The door shuts behind them and Hux collapses on the couch.

He’s finally alone since he got home, he closes his eyes and leans on the couch taking a deep breath. He needs this even if it’s for fifteen minutes. His mind won’t shut up and he’s always so tense around Kylo, there is something about him, he feels like there’s something that he is hiding. He should talk to him but he doesn’t know how to, every time he tries they argue but he needs to know more about him, he lives with him. He’s going to see him every day he needs to try to be nicer to him.

He needs to also go back to work and learn everything he ever did in these past five years. He needs to take back control of his life. He also needs to sit down with Techie and have a long conversation, he barely recognizes his own twin. The changes in Techie are good, he looks better but he needs to know how and when.

There is so many things he should be doing instead of just resting but they won’t let him do anything except rest.

He startles when he hears the door open and is met with Kylo’s concerned gaze. Has it been fifteen minutes already?

“Were you sleeping? Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, I should have been more silent” Kylo says and makes his way to the couch and sits next to Hux. Too close to Hux.

“No, I was just thinking” He says looking anywhere but at Kylo beside him, he can feel the warmth of him next to him, they’re sitting too close together and all he wants to do is lean into that warmth and relax.

“About?” Kylo says and his voice seems gentler than it ever was.

“Everything” Hux says, he’s so tired.

“If you have any questions, I’m here to help” Kylo says, he sounds so sincere and Hux believes that he’ll give him all the answers he need but if Hux starts now he’ll have a thousand questions and he won’t be able to stop.

“Thank you but I’m really tired right now, I think I should go to bed” he says getting up. He needs to put some distance between him and Kylo.

“Yes, you should rest” Kylo says. Hux looks down at him and he feels like shaking him screaming at him. Why is he being so nice to him and trying to take care of him he needs to stop telling him to rest and trying to take care of him. He doesn’t need to do this. Hux can do all that by himself he always did it by himself.

He nods and goes to his room.

 

He doesn’t change his clothes there is no need to, like he said to Phasma they’re comfortable and he’s free to wear whatever he wants to bed. His bed is as he left it when he woke up from his nap and it looks so inviting.

This time sleep doesn’t come to him when he closes his eyes, it takes him a while to sleep, he keeps tossing and turning. Then he remembers that he forgot to take his pills but his body is too tired to get up and go to the kitchen to get his meds. He’s still debating about getting up and getting them or just not taking them tonight, when there’s a knock on his door and Kylo gets in with the pills in one hand and a glass of water in the other. It’s like Hux summoned him.

Hux sits up on the bed and turns on the lamp on his bedside table.

“You forgot your pills” Kylo says coming in.

“I know, I was just getting up to get them” Hux says.

Silently, Kylo hands him the pills and then the water. Hux swallows them quickly almost choking on the water.

“Thank you” He says to Kylo who’s still standing in front of him making sure that he takes his pills.

“You’re welcome” Kylo says and then turns to leave.

For some reason Hux body decides to grab Kylo by the wrist. Kylo freezes and turns toward him, staring at Hux hand on his wrist and then up to Hux.

Hux let’s go immediately and he can feel himself blushing he hopes that the low light will hide his blush. He has no idea why he did that. He sighs.

“I just wanted to say, that I’m sorry that I’ve been acting this way but I’m on edge with this whole missing five years of my life but you’re been kind to me so I should at least try to be nice” Hux says. Techie would be proud of him for what he just said.

Kylo laughs a little “It’s okay you don’t have to be nice to me Hux, I now you. Just be yourself if you start acting nice around me I’ll probably need to take you back to the doctor to check for more brain injuries” Kylo says.

“I’m not that mean. I can be nice” Hux says offended a little.

Kylo laughs “When you’re acting nice it scares me.”

“I’m not scary” Hux says frowning. People always tell him that he’s scary, he doesn’t see it.

Kylo gives him an incredulous look “You’re terrifying”

“Are you afraid of me?” Hux says, that would be funny.

“Are you?” Kylo asks back.

“What?” Hux says confused.

“Are you scared of me?” Kylo says.

“No. Should I be?” Hux says, skeptical. Maybe he should.

“No, not ever” Kylo says.

“Okay” Hux says “You still haven’t answered if you are afraid of me”

“I’ve seen you do terrifying things but I’m not. You haven’t given me any reason to be” Kylo says.

“Good. See I can be nice” Hux says.

“Rarely” Kylo says laughing “but I’d rather you stay the same. Please don’t start being too nice it’ll creep me out” he says.

“Then I will do my best to keep the niceness to a minimum” Hux says.

“Good and it would ruin your reputation if you started being nice suddenly. The world would fall apart if Armitage Hux started acting nice” Kylo says.

“You’re not funny, I’m a defense attorney and apparently, I’m really good at it, of course I’m scary. I deal with criminals” Hux says.

“I know, one time, one of them tried to stab you that’s how mean you can be” Kylo says shrugging.

“What? How? When?” Hux asks “Did he actually stab me?”

“No, no, I was with you. I stopped him and he’s the one who ended up being stabbed” Kylo says.

“Why would you do that?” Hux asks for some reason he’s feeling irritated about that. There’s no reason for Kylo to put himself in danger just for Hux. And not to mention that now he knows that Kylo tried to choke Mitaka and also stabbed a man. What else did he do? He’s afraid to ask.

“I just acted on instinct I wanted to save you” Kylo says.

“So, you stabbed a man?” Hux says.

“Yes” Kylo says and he says it as if stabbing people is his daily job. Maybe it is? He did say he worked in security or something.

Hux opens his mouth to asks more questions but he yawns instead. The pills are starting to make him feel drowsy.

“You should sleep let’s continue this conversation tomorrow” Kylo says and yawns too, it is contagious after all, he looks tired too.

“Yes, but you’re not getting away so easily I need to know the whole story” Hux says.

“Like I said whatever question you have I’m here but the answers might not be what you want to hear” Kylo says.

“I can handle the truth” Hux says.

“I hope so” Kylo says running a hand through his hair

“Goodnight. Thanks for bringing me the pills” Hux says and he means it.

“No problem” Kylo says and leaves Hux’s room.

Hux lays back down and drags the sheet over his head, he just wants to know who this man he’s living with really is. He wants to know more, not only about Kylo but also about his new self that he doesn’t know anything about. Kylo seems like he knows him well, that means that he would have the answer to a lot of Hux questions and he offered to answer them.

But the most important question that Hux wants to ask him is _Who are you?_

Kylo Ren is after all the biggest mystery in Hux life right now. It will be easy to go back to work even if he’s nervous, he can catch up he can read up on all his files take some time and learn what he forgot. It would also be easy to talk with Techie, he’s his brother after all but Kylo Ren is not easy and he has no idea how to handle the situation.

The good thing is that the pill he just took are starting to take effect, helping him shut up his brain and all the questions that he doesn’t have the answer to, yet.


	4. Chapter 4

Hux wakes up feeling warm and comfortable, considering his life right now it’s a great way to wake up. He feels like he should thank himself for choosing this bed and this mattress even the sheets ae perfectly soft, he has never slept so well before, not that he remembers anyway. He considers just lying in bed for a while and relax like everyone tells him he should do. He closes his eyes again but sleep doesn’t come. Yawning, he stretches and sits up sheets pooling to his waist.

He's still wearing yesterday clothes, he should shower and change but the best thing about mornings is coffee.

The thought of drinking coffee perks him up, he hasn’t had a drop of coffee since he woke up in the hospital and he needs it.

Kylo is nowhere to be seen when he gets out of bed and goes to the kitchen it relaxes Hux for a while until he notices that he has no idea how to use the coffee machine and that offends him more than anything right now because coffee is his life and using a coffee machine should come naturally to him and here he is staring dumbly at it.

He’s afraid to push some wrong button and destroy the only source of happiness in his life.

“I can show you how to use it” Kylo says making Hux jump in surprise. He turns to glare and tell him that he can operate a simple coffee machine but he is met with Kylo bare chest and _hot damn_ the man has abs and so many tattoos, his sweatpants are low on his hips and his hair is wild. He looks like he just woke up. Nobody is allowed to look this hot when they just woke up.

Kylo notices Hux eyes going up and down over his body and smirks, he tries to hide it but it doesn’t work.

Hux clears his throat and nods at him. Kylo takes a few steps and stands right in front of him, Hux wants to touch his chest, just to see if it’s as hard as it looks.

Why is Kylo so close to him anyway?

“You need to move for me to get to the coffee machine” Kylo says clearly amused by Hux reactions, Hux moves but not before he hears Kylo muttering “Somethings really never change”.

Hux clears his throat and hopes to god that he is not blushing “What things?” Hux asks.

“You, not being able to function properly before your first cup of coffee” Kylo says chuckling.

“Memory loss or not coffee will always be here for me, I’d rather lose all my memory than live without coffee” Hux says, some part of his brain is telling him to focus on how Kylo is making the coffee so that he would be able to make his own coffee later but because he’s still half asleep the only thing he’s focusing on is Kylo chest and arms and also his back.

The guy is made of muscle and it’s not fair because Hux is imagining a lot of indecent things right now and also, he’s kind of jealous because he would never be able to grow this much muscle mass. He goes to the gym like twice a year and it looks like it hasn’t changed.

“Did you sleep well?” Kylo asks him.

“Very well, my bed is amazing” Hux says.

“Yes, it is” Kylo says and then freezes “I mean it looks really comfy mine is good too”

Hux looks at him confused “Do we have the same bed?”

“No, mine is the one that is supposed to be in the guest room yours is probably custom made or something” Kylo says pouring the coffee into two separate mugs.

“It’s not my fault if I have impeccable taste” Hux says trying to glare at Kylo but he’s handing him his cup of coffee so it doesn’t work.

Kylo smiles at him over his own cup of coffee “You know, I like the beard you shouldn’t shave it” he says.

Hux unconsciously brings a hand to rub at his beard “Do I usually have a beard?”

“No but at least try it for a bit, it suits you” Kylo says.

“New me, new beard” Hux says.

Kylo grins “Why not?” he says.

“Maybe I’ll leave it for a few days but I’m not going to grow my hair out, you and Techie are enough” Hux says.

“Long hair wouldn’t suit you” Kylo says.

“That’s what I said to Techie” Hux says.

“But a beard would” Kylo says.

Hux rolls his eyes “ _Maybe_ I’ll try it out”

They sit in silence for a few minutes Hux tries not to glance at Kylo but then he notices Kylo cup of coffee “Why does your cup says I like my force like I like my coffee dark? Is that a Star Wars thing?” He asks.

“Yes, I’m a huge fan I have tons of Star Wars stuff like the shirt you’re wearing” Kylo says and then tries to hide his smile when Hux chokes on his coffee when he hears the last part.

“This is yours?” Hux asks still coughing.

“Yes” Kylo says.

“Is that why you’re not wearing any shirt because I took yours?” Hux asks.

This time Kylo doesn’t hide his laugh “No, I don’t really wear a lot of shirts at home” Kylo says.

Shit. This is bad. How is he supposed to survive with Kylo abs and tattoos in front of him every day?

“Why am I wearing your shirt? Why was it in my closet?” Hux asks there is no reason for him to just have Kylo shirts in his closet.

“Like you said to Phasma, its comfy and you look cute in it so I let you wear it” Kylo says.

“Oh, I can give it back if you want” Hux says, he’s not that comfortable sharing Kylo clothes.

“No, no I have like five of it. Just keep it” Kylo says.

“Are you sure?” Hux asks.

“Yes” Kylo says.

 

After coffee, he goes back to his room and decides to shower again, it helps. This morning wasn’t that bad with Kylo he didn’t feel the usual awkwardness in their interactions, it was nice.

But the problem is that Kylo body is going to be the end of him, his cock gives a twitch when he remembers it, Kylo was so close and he could see how hard his body is, he wanted to raise his hand and touch. His cock is enjoying Hux train of thoughts but he refuses to jerk off thinking about his roommate’s body no matter how perfect it is.

He turns the water to ice cold.

 

When he gets dressed again he makes sure that he gets dressed with his own clothes even if he’s not sure because he doesn’t have any memory of his own clothes.

His closet is a gold mine of suits, so many suits and they’re all perfect on him just the right size. He wants to try them all on, he settles for one putting it on and it feels amazing, it fits him perfectly, it’s dark blue. He’s going to wear it the first chance he gets.

He gets out of it and puts some jeans on and a dark grey shirt, he should check his phone see if he has any messages or missed calls but it’s in the living room and after the thought he had about Kylo in the shower he’s afraid to get out of his room and face him.

A knock on his door startles him.

“What?” He screams a little too loudly to be normal.

Kylo opens the door and pokes his head inside “I’m going for a run, I’ll ask if you’d want to go with me but we all know the answer to that”

Hux grimaces at the very thought of him going running “You actually go running? Like it’s something you enjoy to do?”

“Yes, I do” Kylo says laughing.

“How do we even live together?” Hux says.

“I have to keep this body in shape, it’s not my fault that you think that coffee is the only way to survive” Kylo says.

Hux did not need a reminder of Kylo body, he really does not need to imagine it right now. He’s imagining him coming back sweaty from his run and for some reason he’s shirtless and Hux cannot imagine this right now, not if Kylo is in front of him. He’s having trouble breathing.

“Have fun running” He says, hoping that Kylo will catch the message and leave for his run.

“I will” Kylo says and leaves.

Hux starts breathing again when he hears the door close.

 

He hates the way he feels around Kylo, he doesn’t feel in control of the situation and he doesn’t like that.

It doesn’t help that Kylo knows Hux, he knows him already but Hux has no idea who Kylo is. He doesn’t even know how old he is.

He sees Millicent eating when he goes to the kitchen for a second cup of coffee. Kylo must have put food for her, he feels horrible. It’s his cat he should be the one to feed her. Not Kylo.

Kylo shouldn’t have to take care of Hux’s cat.

The distraction of Kylo chest didn’t stop him from learning how to use the coffee machine, he waits for his coffee but he has to open multiple cupboard before finding the one with the mugs in. He goes to sit in the living room. Millicent follows him after she finishes eating and she gets on the couch next to him just staring up at him.

He finds some toy that he saw yesterday on the floor that is obviously her. He tries to make her play with him but she must have missed him because she just sits on his lap and curls on herself instead of playing with him.

It’s cute, he really does like that cat. He starts petting her and she purrs in his lap. He’s afraid to move and dislodge her.

That’s how Kylo finds them, sitting on the couch with Hux being still as a statue and Millicent sleeping peacefully.

Hux gives Kylo a look daring him to say something when he sees the amused smile on his face, Kylo raises his hands in surrender and goes to his bedroom. After a few minutes Hux hears water running.

 

As if Hux hasn’t been punished enough for whatever he might have done in these five-past years, Kylo gets out of his room with a towel low on his hips and another one in his hands trying to towel his hair dry.

“Do you want to do something today?” Kylo says casually, as if him being almost naked and water still dripping on his perfect chest is something that Hux sees regularly and not as if Hux isn’t even breathing and that all his blood has left his brain and gone south.

Hux tries to say something that isn’t _you or licking your chest or anything sexual_ but his mouth seems incapable of making any sounds and what comes out is some kind of groan.

Someone needs to get him out of situations with Kylo bare chest.

It’s too much to hope that Kylo hasn’t noticed his reaction but for Kylo credit his face remains impassive.

Hux clears his throat “What do I usually do when I don’t have work?” his voice is a little breathless but who could blame him.

“I don’t really know, it depends on your mood” Kylo says and makes his way to the couch.

“You are not sitting on the couch and dripping water on it” Hux says.

Kylo laughs “I was hoping maybe you’ll be less of a clean freak. It’s just water Hux, it’ll dry” Kylo says.

“It’ll just dry seriously? No, you’re not sitting on it” Hux says.

“Fine” Kylo says.

He goes back to his room and Hux tries his best not to stare at his ass when he leaves the room.

 

“Sometimes you just watch TV, sometimes you work even more and sometimes you just do stuff” Kylo says, startling Hux when he comes back his hair is still a little bit wet but at least he’s wearing clothes now.

“Stuff?” Hux asks.

“Yes” Kylo says sitting on the couch next to him, not as close as last night but still close.

“What kind of stuff?” Hux says.

“Depends on your mood” Kylo says, sitting next to Hux on the coach and turning the TV on.

“What do you do?” Hux says.

“Depends on my mood” Kylo says.

“You’re not funny” Hux says.

“You actually do find me funny” Kylo says.

“I don’t believe you” Hux says “I don’t even trust you. You strangled Mitaka”

“Please, not that again” Kylo says.

“You said that you’ll answer my questions. So why did u try to kill poor Mitaka?” Hux asks.

“I wasn’t trying to kill him” Kylo says, defending himself.

“Really? Then what actually happened?” Hux asks.

Kylo sighs “Look it was a horrible day and he was giving me bad news, like really bad news and I lost it, it was only a few seconds. He didn’t even get any bruises”

“Are you going to tell me what the bad news was?” Hux says.

“It’s in the past, I don’t like to talk about it, it triggers me” Kylo says avoiding looking at him in the eyes.

This confirms Hux suspicions about Kylo mental state, it’s obvious that he has anger management problems from what he learned about him no one randomly chokes and stabs people.

“Was future me present that day?” Hux asks.

“Yes, you were the one who calmed me” Kylo says “there was a lot of yelling” he says after a moment, the expression on his face shows Hux that there actually was a lot of yelling and he’s proud of himself for that.

“Did you try to choke me too?” Hux says, he needs to know if Kylo physically hurt him.

“Only when you want it” Kylo says with a wink.

Hux blushes so hard and the smirk on Kylo face says that it’s obvious. He’s half furious and half turned on. He clenches his fists.

“I’m serious. I need to know if you physically hurt me’ Hux says.

Kylo sobers up immediately “Of course not” he says when Hux expression doesn’t change he adds “You don’t believe me?”

“I don’t know you enough to know if this is true or not” Hux says.

“It is” Kylo says “You can ask Techie or Phasma or even Mitaka”

“Techie keep saying that I should trust you” Hux says “and I trust him” he adds before Kylo can say something.

Kylo lowers his hair a bit as if nodding and his hair falls over his face, Hux wants to push it away.

“I’ll tell you everything in time, I know that it’s still you but I have problem trusting people and opening up to them, you were there the last three years and you’ve seen me at my worst but this you doesn’t know me, just give me a little bit of time” Kylo says and Hux hears the _I don’t want you to reject me and hate me_ in his tone of voice.

“Okay” Hux says.

“Have you decided what you want to do today?” Kylo asks.

“Can we go walk around the neighborhood and maybe sit in some café or something, it would be nice to get to know where I live” Hux says.

“Perfect. I know just where to go” Kylo says.

“Don’t look so proud about it, you had three years to know me and learn everything here” Hux says.

“So did you but you forgot” Kylo says and then realizing what he just said, his eyes widen and he claps his hands around his mouth “Oh my god, I’m so sorry…I didn’t mean to” Kylo says horrified.

Hux really tries not to laugh because it’s too soon to make memory loss joke but he can’t help himself with Kylo making that face at him.

When Kylo realizes that Hux is laughing and not mad at him he smiles.

“Sorry” Kylo says sheepishly.

“it’s okay, just don’t make a habit of it” Hux says.

“Deal” Kylo says grinning.


	5. Chapter 5

They decide to take Kylo car instead of just walking, they drive around town with Kylo pointing and naming places, Hux tries his best to take everything in. He usually has a very good memory which is really ironic right now considering he’s suffering from a huge memory loss.

“Does anything look familiar to you?” Kylo asks.

“Not really” Hux says not turning his head to answer, he’s been staring out of the window since the moment they got into the car “I’m trying too but it feels like I’ve never seen this place before” he says sighing.

“It’s okay, don’t worry” Kylo says.

For some reason this anger him.

“Of course, I’m worried, I don’t recognize anything” Hux snaps at Kylo “This is all a horrible nightmare”

“You know that it’s not what I meant but it is going to be alright” Kylo says.

Hux wants to hit him. How does he know that everything will be alright?

“I want to go home” Hux says crossing his arms over his chest. He doesn’t want to stay in the car with Kylo anymore, he feels so angry and he doesn’t want to throw it all at Kylo and he needs space. He needs space he feels like he’s suffocating he opens the window further.

Kylo looks over at him “Are you actually pouting?” he says incredulous.

“No” Hux says, pouting even more and turning his head away so that Kylo can’t see him.

“You are” Kylo says in disbelieve “You are actually pouting. This is so unreal. I need a moment”

“Shut up and take me home” Hux says. If Kylo is trying to be funny he’s doing a horrible job at it.

“No, we’re not going home I still have things to show you” Kylo says.

“I don’t want to see them” Hux says.

“Hey” Kylo says, surprising Hux by putting his hand on Hux’s arm, Hux turns his head a little so that Kylo can see that he’s listening “Don’t be like that, I’m going to drive a round for a bit and then we’ll go have lunch. Okay?”

Hux stubbornly stays silent.

“I’m going to take your silence as a yes” Kylo says.

He doesn’t know why he’s acting like that, he’s being a child and Kylo is just taking it. Maybe he’s trying to push his buttons trying to make Kylo drop the nice guy act he has going on and show him the person that he really is or maybe Hux just needs an outlet and Kylo is always there.

Kylo is still describing what they are passing by but Hux isn’t listening, he doesn’t care anymore he’s tired right now. He just wants to rest and he hates being like this, that’s why he’s so snappy. He closes his eyes and let the soft wind relaxes him a little.

When he opens them a few minutes later they’re getting into a parking lot, they’re in front of a huge mall. Hux looks at it curiously. He doesn’t know if a place full of people is good for him right now.

 

“Aren’t you hungry?” Kylo says, when Hux looks at him, his face is to gentle for Hux’s liking “If you’re not you can just sit and watch me eat because I am starving”

“I could eat” Hux says slowly.

“Great” Kylo says clapping his hands and getting out of the car.

Hux sighs and gets out of the car following Kylo.

He follows Kylo around like a lost puppy, his hands are in his pockets, he doesn’t even look around he just stares at the floor and follows Kylo.

“This is one of my favorite places” Kylo says pushing the door of a restaurant and getting in.

“Is that why we’re here?” Hux says.

“Yes, I thought that you would get bored or most probably annoyed with us telling you what you’re supposed to like. That’s why I decided we should go to somewhere I like” Kylo says.

“Do I even like it?” Hux asks.

“This is for you to find out” Kylo says.

“I feel like I’m going to regret this” Hux says.

“No you won’t, it’s okay to enjoy things once in a while” Kylo says.

“Like you enjoy running?” Hux asks.

“Yes” Kylo says.

“God help me then” Hux sighs and sits down.

The food is good a little bit greasy but it’s what Hux needed. Kylo pays because Hux completely forgot to take his wallet with him.

“I promise I’ll pay you back when we get home” Hux says as they’re leaving.

“You don’t have to. I owe you a lot this is nothing” Kylo says opening the door for Hux.

“Goodbye and thank you” says the hostess at the door smiling a little bit too much at Kylo while ignoring Hux existence.

Kylo nods at her but doesn’t say anything back.

“It looks like you have a fan” Hux can’t stop himself from saying.

Kylo shrugs “Not really my type”

Hux doesn’t push it further than that.

“Thank you” Hux says because to all the fault his father had he didn’t raise an impolite son.

“It was my pleasure” Kylo says.

 

 

When the weekend finally comes, Techie is free to hang out with them. The bell rings at around eleven and Hux rushes to the door to open it.

“Tech” Hux says hugging his brother.

“Armie” Techie says hugging him back “Sorry I couldn’t come earlier I really had a lot of work”

“You’re here now” Hux says.

“Ginger number two is here” Kylo says, he must have heard the bell ring and come out of his room because Hux hasn’t see him all morning.

He’s shirtless.

“Don’t call me that” Techie says sending a glare to Kylo but other than that he looks completely unaffected by Kylo’s bare chest.

Kylo laughs “You’ve come to save the princess from the monster” he says.

“What does that even mean?” Hux says rolling his eyes “You’re ridiculous and I don’t need saving from anything I can save myself thank you very much”

“Unless you’re riling up one of your clients and they try to stab you then you need saving” Techie says laughing.

“What is it with this story?” Hux says.

Kylo opens his mouth probably to answer him but Techie shuts him up “No, don’t say anything. It’ll be fun just teasing him about it”

“Why not” Kylo says clearly amused.

“You two are horrible” Hux says.

“You coming with us Kylo?” Techie says.

“No, it’s okay just go the two of you brotherly love and all that” Kylo says.

“Are you sure?” Techie presses on. Hux tries mentally tell him to drop the subject but it never worked they tried it before thinking that maybe twins should be able to communicate mentally.

“Yes and I’m probably sure that Hux is bored of me” Kylo says grinning at Hux, who just rolls his eyes and refuses to answer.

“Let’s go” Hux tells Techie.

 

They decided to have a brunch with Phasma and Mitaka, Hux wouldn’t have minded if Kylo came with them but he’d rather have a few hours without him. He’s been with Kylo 24/7 for almost a week now and he feels like he needs some space.

“We’re not driving there?” Hux asks Techie when they just keep walking and don’t head to the car.

“No, it’s really close and I’ll show you where my apartment is if you’ll ever need to pass by” Techie says.

“Okay” Hux says.

“How’s everything with Kylo?” Techie asks.

“It’s good but I feel like he’s trying his best to be nice to me. I keep thinking that he’ll finally drop the act I know that he is trying to be nice” Hux says.

“He probably feels guilty or something” Techie says.

“Why would he? Please god, don’t tell that he was the one who ran me over” Hux says because that would be too much. His life is not a soap opera even though it’s starting to feel like one.

“Of course not. Are you insane? I also feel guilty in a way, and I know that Kylo has some self-esteem issues as do I. The guilt we’re feeling we can’t stop it, that’s why he’s trying so hard but don’t worry he’ll be back to his charming self in no time” Techie says.

“You mean he’s going to stab someone” Hux says.

Techie laughs throwing his head backwards and his hair falling all over his face “I’m not telling you”

“Worth a try” Hux says shrugging “What is he usually like?”

“Obviously not that nice. I don’t really know how to describe him, he’s Kylo. He’s sometimes a little bit immature and he loves getting on your nerves, knowing him the nice act will drop pretty quickly, he’s also pretty moody” Techie says.

“We used to get along?” Hux asks.

Techie laughs “You can say that. He’s an asshole but he really cares about you, don’t worry you’ll discover soon enough how he usually is”

“You get along with him, you don’t usually like people” Hux says.

“You know how anxious I get and how I usually am, he gets like this sometimes so we understand each other and he also took it upon himself to teach me self-defense, it helps it makes me feel less scared in public” Techie says.

Hearing that Kylo is one of the reasons that Techie feels better right now does something to Hux heart he doesn’t know what but it seems like fondness.

“So, you can kick my ass now?” Hux says.

“Yes” Techie says grinning “Any more questions about Kylo?”

“Does he always walk around shirtless?” Hux asks unable to stop the question.

Techie laughs so hard “Yes”

Shit.

“Stop laughing” Hux says.

It takes a couple more minutes for Techie to stop laughing.

“You usually keep your hair this long or right now it’s too long and you need a haircut?” Hux says, completely changing the subject from Kylo.

“I’m not cutting my hair Armie I happen to like it and a lot of people do too” Techie says putting his hands in his pockets.

“I’m just teasing Tech” Hux says bumping shoulders. He needs Techie to know that he is just teasing and not actively criticizing him “I wish it was only you and I having brunch, I want to know more about you in these last five years”

“We have time I’m not going anywhere. You’re the one who wanted to go back to the office so quickly so you have to face Mitaka in a public place so that he doesn’t cause a scene” Techie says.

“He’s not going to cause a scene, Phasma told me that she already lectured him about it and to keep the tears at a minimum and I know Dolphed he might be less of a robot than we are but he’s a good person and if what I remember is still true an excellent lawyer too, stop undermining him” Hux says.

“He always idolized you and it must have been hard to see you lying unconscious and bleeding on the floor. If it was me I would have nightmare about it” Techie says.

When Mitaka sees Hux he rushes from his place next to Phasma at the table and hugs him so hard that Hux is pretty sure something broke. When he finally lets him go, Hux expects him to be crying, he isn’t but he seems pretty close to it.

“I have never been so happy to see you” Mitaka says.

“Sorry for the scare” Hux says.

“I’m just so happy to see that you’re okay. Phasma wouldn’t let me come and see you, apparently, I’ll be disturbing the peace” Mitaka says.

Hux looks at Phasma who waves at him “What peace?” he asks her.

“You just needed some time alone” Phasma says.

“I wasn’t alone Kylo is with me all the time” Hux says.

“I know but I’ve heard that Kylo is acting nice and if Kylo is, then can you imagine what a nice Mitaka would be like” Phasma says.

“I’m always nice” Mitaka says frowning.

“Exactly” Phasma says with a knowing smile.

She’s right, Kylo being nice is something but Mitaka would have been horrible he would have gone to any extreme just to please Hux because he also probably feels guilty and Hux would have been so overwhelmed by his niceness that he would have probably walked in front of a car willingly this time.

“Let’s talk about work” Hux says.

Techie groans and Phasma gives him a look but he isn’t going to drop the subject so he ignores them. He has Mitaka now that feels guilty and is nice he’s going to take advantage of that.

“You’re coming back on Monday, right?” Mitaka asks.

“Yes, finally and I would just like to know more about my own firm” Hux says.

“I understand” Mitaka says.

“Finally, someone who does everyone keeps telling me to rest” Hux says.

“You should do that too but I know you and your job is really important and knowing you maybe if you go back to work you’ll start feeling better you know be more in sync with your life now. It’s so weird, I know that it’s you but it’s not really you” Mitaka says “Does that make any sense?”

Hux raises an eyebrow at him while Phasma smirks and Techie is completely ignoring them keeping busy by eating. He obviously doesn’t care about their conversation and is here just as support for Hux.

“How is Kylo?” Phasma asks.

“Good, I think” Hux says, then he turns to Mitaka and says “I heard he chocked you half to death”

Mitaka ironically chokes on whatever he was eating right now. Hux tries to pat him on the back but Mitaka keeps coughing. He can see Phasma and Techie trying to hide their laughter.

“Now you’re responsible for him chocking too” Phasma says deciding not to hide her laughter anymore.

“I’m so sorry, Dolphed” Hux says.

“I…It’s….o…okay” Mitaka says trying to get his breathing to normal.

“No one tell Kylo about this” Hux says.

“Why not? It would be fun. You both are now responsible for Mitaka almost death” Phasma says, Hux glares at her.

“Sorry again” He says to Mitaka.

“Don’t worry” Hux says “but about Kylo…”

“He scares the shit out of me but he apologized and I’m over it, it was almost three years ago and I know that if he really wanted to kill me, I would be dead. The man is strong” Mitaka says.

“Did he hurt you another time?” Hux says.

“No” Mitaka says.

“Stop talking about Kylo didn’t you want to know more about your job?” Phasma says.

She’s right, he’s here to talk about work, not about Kylo.

“Yes, and I have so many questions” Hux says.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is pretty short but I needed to post it, I need some motivation

Hux is lying in bed staring at the ceiling he is so nervous, he is finally going back to work tomorrow. He should have nothing to worry about, it’s his firm after all, it’s not like it’s his first job and he has to make an impression but that’s the thing he has to show everyone that he’s still the same, that nothing changed that even without five years’ worth of memory he is still in charge. Mitaka was helpful he filled some gaps and he promised Hux that he’ll help him with anything he needs.

He startles when the door opens “You want something for dinner?” Kylo says getting into his room without even knocking.

“I’m not hungry” Hux says, he’s so nervous he doesn’t need Kylo right now. Kylo looks at him frowning.

“Are you okay?” Kylo asks and Hux wants to say _no I’m not_ but he doesn’t need Kylo comforting him right now. He has enough to worry about without Kylo trying to be all nice and asking him about dinner and if he’s alright. He needs to be himself without any distractions.

“Fine, just not hungry” he says shrugging trying to sound calm and not snap at Kylo to leave him alone and get out of his room.

“Okay, I’m going to order some pizza if you change your mind I’ll leave you some. Don’t worry I won’t leave you to starve” Kylo says.

“It’s not like you’re going to eat a whole pizza by yourself” Hux says.

“You’d be surprised” Kylo says.

“Really?” Hux says.

“I won a bet once eating one, I know that I can do it but I’d rather not. Got the keep this body in shape” Kylo says flexing his arms, those damn arms that make Hux imagine things that he really doesn’t need to imagine right now, he has enough on his mind. At least Kylo is wearing a shirt right now.

“You’re going to go back to work tomorrow too?” Hux asks.

“Yes, I got a morning class to teach so I’ll be up early and my afternoon is also full” Kylo says.

“That’s good. Techie told me that you gave him some self-defense classes.” Hux says, he doesn’t know why he’s making conversation with Kylo but he needs a distraction and it’s this or staring at the ceiling.

“Yes, I did. He’s a quick learner and didn’t hold back when he was trying to attack me, threw some good punches and he has a lot of pent up anger so it hurt a little” Kylo says.

“Thank you for that, he said that it helped him” Hux says.

“That’s funny considering you were against it at the beginning” Kylo says.

“Why would I be against it?” Hux asks.

“Ummm…it’s just that I’ve done some bad stuff, it you want to call it that, in my life and I understand why you wouldn’t want me near your little brother” Kylo says.

“What kind of bad stuff, Kylo?” Hux says, he isn’t sure that he wants to hear the answer to that question because the more he learns about Kylo the more violent and kind of a little bit scary he gets but everyone keeps telling him that it’s alright, that Kylo won’t hurt him.

Kylo runs a hand through his hair, he’s nervous it’s obvious that he is. He looks ready to run but he’s the one who brought the subject up and Hux is curious about him. Kylo is a m mystery to him, he doesn’t know what to make of him even now.

“Bad stuff Hux, I…” Kylo says “You…not you the one with the memories knows all about the bad things I did and there’s a lot of them but I don’t know how to tell the you in front of me right now about them. Does that even make sense?” he groans pressing his hands into his eyes socket.

“Why? What are you afraid of?” Hux says.

Kylo looks at him and the expression on his face makes Hux’s heart ache. Hux knows that expression, Kylo is terrified, he’s afraid of being rejected, afraid to be told that he’s useless and that he should leave because he is worthless.

Hux has seen the expression on Techie’s face more times than he would have liked and he had that expression on his face before too.

“The other me, the one that knows everything about you, he let you stay with him and he let you help his little brother that I know I am so protective of, he knew all the things you’ve done and you’re still here. Why can’t you trust me?” Hux says trying to be gentle for some reason he doesn’t want Kylo to leave or to be afraid that Hux will tell him to leave and never come back.

“Go to work tomorrow and read about my case and then when you come back we’ll talk again” Kylo says turning around to leave.

His case? What?

“Wait” Hux says standing up and getting of the bed so quickly that he loses his balance “Your case?”

 “Yes” Kylo says stopping but not turning around “Read it and then we’ll talk”

“You can’t just say that and turn around and leave” Hux says raising his voice “Why don’t you tell me about it yourself? What case Kylo? What did you do?”

Kylo stays silent “What aren’t you telling me? Just tell me Kylo. I shouldn’t read about it you should be the one telling me” Hux says.

“I don’t want to look at your face when you discover what kind of man I am” Kylo says and it’s like a slap to Hux’s face because what is this supposed to mean.

“Kylo…” Hux says but he doesn’t know what to actually say because without the information Kylo is refusing to tell him he doesn’t know what reaction he should have. Based on Kylo reaction it’s nothing good.

Kylo leaves the room closing the door behind him and Hux is left standing there in the middle of his room wondering if he should go after Kylo and demand answers from him.

Why didn’t anyone tell him that Kylo was one of his clients? If Kylo was one of his clients it means that he did do something bad or he wouldn’t have come to him. He should have known. Techie at least should have told him.

It probably isn’t something too bad or Kylo is probably innocent for Hux to have invited him to come and live with him and for Kylo to have stayed.

Why didn’t anyone tell him?

 

Hux doesn’t sleep that night and when he gets out of bed in the morning to get a cup of coffee before getting dressed for work Kylo is nowhere to be found. He doesn’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who commented, you have no idea how much it means to me and how much it motivates me.
> 
> Here is the chapter, some of the questions about Kylo are answered but there will be more information about him later.

Hux is supposed to pay attention to the road so that he can drive himself to work instead of making Techie take him every day, especially because Techie didn’t need to be up this early and he looks like a zombie right now, his eyes are so red and the dark circles around his eyes are scary. He almost feels guilty.

“You’re going to stay all day?” Hux asks.

Techie makes a weird sound that Hux isn’t sure how to interpret.

“Sorry?” Hux says.

“No, will stay just a few hours and then leave” Techie says.

“Don’t you usually stay all day?” Hux says.

“Not really, I just need to be there when the main server needs manual work on and we have a good team, I’m not needed all the time” Techie says proudly.

“How am I going back home?” Hux asks.

“Phasma or Mitaka will take you back or Kylo if he doesn’t have work can we please not have a conversation it’s barely 8 o’clock” Techie says.

At the mention of Kylo Hux’s anxiety skyrockets, he wants to ask Techie about it but his mouth won’t ask the question because his mind is afraid of the answers.

“Don’t worry everything will be fine” Techie says feeling his anxiety.

“I just need to feel in control and feel like myself again” Hux says trying to make Techie understand.

“I get it. You like order and being in control the workplace is a perfect place for you to feel like your old self again” Techie says yawning.

“I hope so” Hux says looking at him “I doubt that your hair is seen acceptable in a work place”

Techie groans “Shut up”

“I’m your boss” Hux says.

Techie eyes leave the road to glare at him “You can fire me if you want, I’d rather be asleep right now then driving you to work”

“You’re a horrible brother” Hux says.

“You insulted my hair and for the love of god Armitage it’s barely 8AM shut up” Techie says.

Hux hides his grin and shrugs.

The building they park in front of is huge.

“What floor are we?” Hux asks.

“7th” Techie says pulling Hux with him into the building and to the elevator, pressing the button for their floor.

“You’re going to stay with me or go to your department?” Hux asks.

“I’m going to leave you with Phasma and Mitaka it’s too early for me to socialize” Techie says.

“Thank you for driving me here” Hux says softly.

“You’re welcome just don’t get hit by a car again and lose your memory, again” Techie says.

“I’ll do my best” Hux says smiling at Techie.

When the elevator opens on their floor, Mitaka is the first thing that Hux sees, standing in front of the elevator with a cup of coffee and doing his best to smile.

“Good morning” Mitaka says.

“Good morning Mitaka” Hux says, Techie just groans.

“It’s good to have you back” Mitaka says.

“Great, I’m going to do my work you guys go and do lawyer stuff” Techie says and walks off, Hux hopes that he won’t fall asleep on his desk. He’s his brother he should be setting an example not slacking off.

“Let’s go do lawyer stuff” Hux says to Mitaka.

It’s almost three in the afternoon when Hux finally has a second to breathe, he insisted on checking and visiting everything he wants to get to his actual work as soon as possible.

He’s sitting in his office drinking his coffee when he finally remembers about Kylo, he almost drops his coffee. He should ask Mitaka about it and as if on cue Mitaka walks through his door with a handful of documents.

“Mitaka?” Hux says.

“Yes, sir?” Mitaka says.

“Can you bring me Kylo’s file?” Hux says, Mitaka stops in his tracks and his eyes widen, Hux raises an eyebrow.

“Why?” Mitaka says clearing his throat.

“Because I said so” Hux said.

“But…” Mitaka tries to say.

“Do it, Mitaka” Hux says leaving no tone for argument.

Mitaka nods and leaves Hux’s office and comes back a few minutes later with a single file.

“Here it is” He says “It doesn’t have the firm name on it because it was just before you started the firm”

“I’m guessing this is the case that made me kind of famous” Hux says.

“If you want to put it this way, then yes” Mitaka says putting the file on Hux’s desk.

“Thank you, Mitaka. I don’t want to be bothered while reading this” Hux says.

“Understood” Mitaka says and leaves closing the office door behind him.

Hux looks down at the file on his desk. How is it that Kylo is making him nervous when he isn’t even in the room? Hux was feeling perfectly at ease at work after a few minutes he started feeling like himself again, like he was in control but now in front of a file he feels so unsure.

He takes a deep breath and opens the file.

 

 

 

The file says:

**_Ben Solo – Kylo Ren_ **

Kylo Ren isn’t even his real name, Hux sighs.

He doesn’t want to know but at the same he’s dying to know.

He starts reading.

 

 

When Kylo finally gets home, the file is on the table and Kylo is staring at him wide eyed, he looks terrified.

Hux is still in his suit sitting on the couch and just waiting for Kylo to say something.

“That’s my file?” Kylo asks dropping his bag on the floor, his hair is a little wet as if he showered at the gym before coming back here. Trying to delay the inevitable.

“Yes” Hux says.

Kylo doesn’t say anything he just stands there head lowered and looking everywhere except at Hux.

“Look at me” Hux says and it’s an order. He’s had enough of playing the confused and scared little amnesiac, even if he doesn’t remember he’s still himself and he knows exactly who he is.

Kylo Ren is a lost puppy that he picked up and decided to keep. He is so cute. Tall, dark and handsome with a thousand issues and a lot of repressed anger. Too cute, Hux is going to keep him. No matter all the thoughts that Kylo is having right now about Hux leaving him.

“Look at me” Hux says again and this time Kylo raises his head slowly he looks at Hux but then quickly avert his eyes.

“Are you kicking me out?’ Kylo asks.

“Why would I do that?” Hux says.

Kylo groans “Please” he begs.

“Please what?” Hux says.

“I don’t know but please just let me stay here” Kylo begs.

“Why would I do that?” Hux says. He’s being cruel but he’s enjoying it, he feels a little bit like himself again but there’s a voice at the back of his head that sounds like Techie telling him _you’re just like your father_ and sometimes unfortunately he is.

“Just tell me what to do” Kylo says.

“Come sit next to me” Hux says.

Kylo looks confused and he slowly makes his way to sit next to him. Hux can smell fresh soap and shampoo on him, he did shower before coming back here.

“Did you remember something at work?” Kylo says filling the silence or trying to change the subject, it won’t work.

“Nothing” Hux says. He wishes he had, maybe then he’ll know how to handle this situation better but he still doesn’t remember anything but he knows that he needs to stay in control and everything needs to be in order and then maybe he’ll remember.

“Oh” Kylo says.

“You know, I would have liked it better if you tell me what exactly happened, paper doesn’t tell the whole truth all I know is that you killed a man you used to work for in self-defense while he was trying to make you kill your own father” Hux says trying to sound calm.

The truth is barely this simple in that kind of situation and a lot of facts get removed from paper.

Kylo chuckles “That’s basically it” he says.

“No, it isn’t” Hux says starting to get angry. Kylo has to stop avoiding the subject and tell him everything from his own perspective it’s not a game it’s his life and it’s important. Kylo is dangerous and he killed someone even if it was in self-defense, Hux needs to know the facts.

“I don’t like to talk about it” Kylo says.

“You’re not a child, Ren you can make some effort” Hux finally snaps at him, his anger taking over, he doesn’t care anymore about tiptoeing around Kylo emotions, he’s a grow up man, he can handle it.

Kylo looks at him with something weird in his eyes “What did you just call me?”

“What?” Hux says.

“You called me Ren” Kylo says.

“So what? Isn’t it your name too or do you want me to call you Ben or Solo” Hux says.

“Don’t, please. It’s just that you used to call me Ren all the time that’s just…bring back memories I guess…not for you obviously” Kylo says running his hand through his hair looking completely lost and unsure.

“If you want me to call you Ren I’ll call you Ren, you call me Hux all the time” Hux says confused about how this conversation turned into this. It’s just a name after all but he must admit Ren sounds nicer than Kylo.

Who even name themselves Kylo? It sounds like a name from a children action movie or something.

“I tried to call you Armie once you almost stabbed me” Kylo says.

“Why does everything go back to stabbing with you?” Hux says.

“Don’t know, I like knifes and swords and all that” Kylo says shrugging.

“I don’t care about your weird fetish, _Ren”_ He says making an extra effort to say the name Ren “I need to hear the whole thing from you and not read it from some file”

“Why? You’re the one who took the case and everything. Don’t you trust yourself?” Kylo says. Hux feels like strangling him. Why does he have to make everything so difficult?

“Of course, I do but I need to hear it from you and look into your eyes when you tell me the truth” Hux says doing his best to control himself and not shout.

“You think I’d lie” Kylo says.

“Frankly, yes” Hux says.

Kylo looks hurt “You don’t trust me” he says.

“It’s not about trust, Kylo. You know me, I’m certain I’m not that different from what I was and you should know that I like to know every little detail” He says placing his hand on Kylo’s hand to try to coax the truth from him.

Kylo sighs “You’re sure you didn’t remember anything?”

“If I do you’ll be the first to know, now talk” Hux says and it comes out more like an order than a demand.

“Swear you won’t hate me” Kylo says, big brown eyes begging. Puppy eyes. Hux was never a dog person but he is definitely keeping him.

“Promise” Hux says squeezing Kylo’s hand.

Ren nodes and starts talking, finally.

“When I was fifteen I ran away from home and a man named Snoke found me and he made me feel like I belonged somewhere but my parents found me after a few weeks and brought me back home, I didn’t want to go back but Snoke promised that when I’ll be eighteen I’ll be welcomed back. I had to wait a few years, where I hated myself and hated my parents even more and I was depressed and was so angry all the time, all the time Hux you can’t even imagine how much. When I finally was eighteen I ran away again, Snoke kept contact with me for all these years. I left a letter for my parents telling them not to look for me but that didn’t stop them” Ren stops takes a deep breath and continues “I worked for Snoke then, what I did wasn’t strictly legal but it felt good and like I finally had a place in the world. Eight years later they found me again, my parents. They’re kind of important people, have been some of Snoke’s enemies for a while but Snoke neve made me interact with them and what I like about being with Snoke is that I didn’t need to think I just needed to follow orders. What basically happened was that Snoke used me to get to my parents and tried to make me kill my father and I was going to I just could see it so clearly but I couldn’t and without thinking I turned the gun to Snoke’s head and shot him. My parents did everything they could to keep me out of prison that’s where you come in. You’re amazing, brilliant and you saved me. We got close while doing the case, I didn’t want to go back with my parents, I was too afraid, you let me stay here on the condition that I meet with my parents every two weeks” Kylo finishes.

Hux has so many questions, too many and Kylo looks terrified.

“I’m not kicking you out and I don’t hate you in case you were wondering” He says and Kylo looks so relieved.

“I can see it on your face, you have so many questions” Kylo says.

“Yes, I do but I’m also starving. I’m going to order something to eat and you’re going to answer all of my questions” Hux says.

“Promise” Kylo says nodding.

“Good” Hux says, releasing Kylo’s hand and getting up to get his phone from his bedroom.

He takes a few minutes to absorb everything that Kylo told him, there’s so much and Kylo has been manipulated so much in his life, he understands why he would have let him stay with him. He saw a little bit of what he lived through in Kylo.

It’s going to be a long night.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's domhnall gleeson birthday today and here is the new chapter

There’s something beeping in the distance, Hux wants to smash that thing into a wall. He jerks awake, it’s his alarm who’s going off somewhere. It takes him a few minutes to work out his surroundings.

He’s still on the couch, still in his suit from yesterday, food still on the table and Kylo’s head is in his lap for some reason, his black hair all over Hux’s lap.

How did they end up like this? Hux blinks a few times, his mind is still foggy. Right, they talked all night and somehow, they slept all over each other. His alarm is still going off getting louder and louder but Kylo hasn’t woken up yet.

“Hey” Hux says shaking Kylo’s shoulder a little, he groans and pulls his arm over his head trying to protect his face from the light, Hux shakes him again harder and apparently that does the trick and wakes him up because he startles awake and gets off Hux so quickly that Hux gets dizzy just watching him move this fast.

“Shit” Kylo says running a hand through his hair.

Hux stands up and stretches “It seems like we overslept” he says, grabbing his phone and finally turning off his alarm.

Kylo nods looking around and frowning then he looks at Hux “You go shower and change, I’ll make coffee and breakfast” he says and hurries up to the kitchen almost tripping on the carpet.

“Okay” Hux says he’s not going to argue because he needs to move fast if he wants to be on time for work, he hurries to his room almost stepping on Millicent in the process and strips out of his clothes too quickly leaving them on the floor a part of him is crying in agony about leaving his clothes on the floor but he doesn’t have time to worry about that, he can’t be late for work on his second day back.

He gets into the shower and is done in under five minutes, gets dressed and gets out of his room while doing his tie.

Breakfast and coffee are ready thanks to Kylo, Hux could kiss him right.

_Don’t_ his brain say it’s too early in the morning for that kind of situations and he needs to get to work on time.

“That was quick” Kylo says when he sees him, looking him up and down. Hux can’t help but feel a little bit self-conscious but at least he doesn’t blush.

“I have never showered or dressed this quickly” Hux says, taking a bite of his toast, it’s just the way he likes it. Kylo pours a cup of coffee and hands it to him.

“Thank you so much” Hux says “Don’t you have work?”

“I did but it’s too late to go now, I’ll go for the next class” Kylo says taking a sip of his own coffee calmly if it was Hux missing work, calm would not be a word that anyone would use to describe him in the moment.

“Sorry for making you miss work” Hux says but frankly he doesn’t mind if Kylo misses his work if it means that he’ll get on time for his.

“It’s okay. I better miss my work then you miss your work and it’s partly my fault that we stayed up this late” Kylo says.

“Thank you for being honest with me last night” Hux says.

“No problem, I’m sure you have more questions but you don’t have any time for them right now” Kylo says, gently smiling at him. Hux can’t help but smile back. He takes another bite of his toast finishing it.

“Where are the car keys? I need to go now. I refuse to be late” Hux says.

“I think they’re in the drawer in the entrance” Kylo says “Are you sure it’s okay for you to drive? What if you remember something or get dizzy or something? And you haven’t slept well I don’t want you getting into an accident you just got back from the hospital”

Hux rolls his eyes at him, takes his suitcase and gets the keys “I’ll be fine. Bye, Ren” he says.

“Bye” He hears Kylo say just before the door shuts.

Hux has to press the elevator button at least five time until it finally gets to his floor, he runs to his car.

He gets on time to work, thank god.

His assistant has another cup of coffee for him on his desk. Which is perfect.

Work is as hectic as it probably usually is but he can’t seem to give it his one hundred percent attention his mind keeps going back to last night.

 

_Kylo sitting on the floor in front of the table eating while Hux is sitting on the couch trying to eat but his mind is too busy thinking about everything Kylo is telling him. Kylo looks up nervously at him._

_“You can still ask whatever you want. I told you anything you want to know” Kylo says but Hux doesn’t know what to ask anymore, Kylo has been an open book with him answering everything about the work he was doing with Snoke which was mostly illegal._

_Hux didn’t ask a lot about his childhood just little question because those were the questions that seemed to trouble Kylo the most._

_He wants to know everything but he doesn’t know what more to ask._

_“Ummm, how old are you?” Hux says, it might not be the best question but it is important._

_“28” Kylo says smiling a little._

_Hux frowns a little “I thought you were younger”_

_“Really? How old did you think I was?” Kylo asks._

_“25, maybe, at most” Hux says._

_“No, there’s just a couple of years between us but you make it feel like ten.” Kylo says._

_“It’s not my fault if I’m more mature than you, Ren. Who even calls himself Kylo Ren, seriously? I get the Ren part it has a nice ring to it but Kylo?” Hux says._

_Kylo groans “It’s unique”_

_“Unique?” Hux says laughing “You’re ridiculous”_

_“Stop making fun of me. I’m a murderer did you forget that?” Kylo says looking up at him dead in the eye. Trying to scare Hux._

_Hux holds his stare, then smirks “It’s not like you’re going to hurt me” he says. Kylo looks taken by surprise by his answer and lowers his head._

_“Any other question?” Kylo says._

_“Favorite color?” Hux says already knowing the answer._

_“Black” Kylo says, Hux can’t help laughing “It was kind of obvious”_

_“Yes, it was” Hux says, smiling down at Kylo, he smiles back at him and Hux can’t help but think that he looks so cute smiling like that. He should smile more._

_“Actually, I have a question” Kylo says, he sounds so unsure of himself as if Hux will scream at him for even thinking that he has a right to ask a question._

_“What is it?” Hux says raising an eyebrow._

_“How did you feel today at work?” Kylo asks._

_Hux frowns, what kind of question is that?_

_“Good, I think. It felt like I belonged there, like it was my place to be. I felt in control there” Hux says._

_“Armitage Hux the workaholic is still in there” Kylo says, trying to joke but Hux can feel that he doesn’t mean it like a joke._

_“Why does it bother you so much?” Hux says._

_Kylo shrugs but doesn’t give an answer._

_“Do you even like living here with me?” Hux asks frowning._

_Kylo looks up sharply “Of course I do” he says. “Why are you asking that?”_

_“Just wondering” Hux says “When is the last time you saw your parents?” he asks._

_“Just before you had your accident, they’ve been worried about you but I knew you wouldn’t like them to come and visit, they can be a little bit overbearing but they send you their best, there was probably more to it but I don’t really remember. I also have a bad memory” Kylo says grinning._

_“Not funny” Hux says trying to glare at Kylo bit it doesn’t have any heat._

_“It’s not my fault if you lack a sense of humor” Kylo says._

_“Stop joking around I still have questions” Hux says._

_“Go ahead” Kylo says looking serious again. And Hux asks and asks and asks questions all related to Kylo’s past about the things he’s done about his current mental health. He answers every single one of them._

_The more he talks the more Hux feels protective of him. Kylo Ren has done bad things in his life but he also had bad things happen to him and for some reason he chooses to stay here with Hux. He feels safe with Hux. He’s afraid of being kicked out which is a thing that Hux will never do, Kylo Ren is staying with him._

_Hux asks so many questions but doesn’t ask the most important question that has been going on in his head since the moment he opened his eyes for the first time after the accident and saw a man that he doesn’t know by his side and looking like he cried over him._

_He wants to ask._

_Do you love me?_

_But he doesn’t ask because he’s afraid of the answer and the consequences that will come with it._

A knock on his door startles him and he notices that he’s been staring at nothing for the last fifteen minutes, instead on focusing on his work. Kylo is very distracting even when he’s not around.

“Come on in” he says.

The door to his office opens and Phasma gets in, dressed as incapable as usual in dark blue suit.

“Good morning. How are you today? Remember anything yet?” She says, like always she goes straight to the point.

“Good morning to you too, I’m fine and no. Any more questions?” He says.

“There’s always more questions to be asked, we’re lawyers after all” Phasma says giving Hux a sharp smile.

Hux rolls his eyes “Why are you here? Is there anything important to do? If not get out I have work to do” Hux says, he’s not in the mood for Phasma and her little games.

“Someone is on edge today” She says and takes a seat in front of Hux’s desk.

“I didn’t sleep well” Hux says, it’s not the entire truth but it’s still true.

“Bad dreams?” Phasma says “Shouldn’t you be taking sleeping pills?”

“I was just restless. Yes, I should but they make me tired” Hux says.

Phasma looks at him and Hux can feel the question coming.

“How are things at home?” She asks.

Hux can’t help but sigh “Perfect” he says.

“Really?” Phasma says laughing “Is Kylo attending to all of your little needs?” she says mocking.

“Why don’t you like him?” Hux asks because every time Kylo is near or is the topic of conversation Phasma always acts with contempt. Even Techie likes Kylo there is no reason for Phasma to dislike him.

“No reason” Phasma says.

“You’re not denying that you don’t like him” Hux says.

“No, I’m not. He’s not my favorite person on this planet but he seems to be one of yours and I don’t understand why” Phasma says.

The problem here is that Hux also doesn’t understand why he feels so protective about Kylo. Taking Kylo’s case was his job but taking him and letting him live in his house is not part of Hux’s job.

“He just is” Hux says.

Phasma gives him a look but drops the subject “I need to brief you on one of our important clients, he’ll be coming next week and I need you to be able to handle it” she says.

“Of course” Hux says.

That’s how he spends the rest of his day, working.

When he gets home it’s late but there’s no lights on in the house so Kylo isn’t home yet. All the lights are off and Hux almost steps on Millicent while finding his way to his room. He picks her up and she accepts to be carried for once.

Hux takes of his shoes, suit jacket, tie and unbuttons the first few buttons of his shirt. He sends a quick text asking Kylo if he’s going to be late or not but it goes unanswered.

The house is quiet when it’s only him and Millicent, he goes to the kitchen and grabs some leftovers from the fridge and starts eating alone at the kitchen table. He doesn’t forget to feed Millicent this time.

His phone buzzes but it’s not Kylo it’s Techie asking him about his day and if he’s alright. Hux can’t help but smile at his brother concern.

He then showers and gets in bed with his iPad going over some notes he had mad and reading more about the clients and the work they have. It’s a lot. He is proud to have accomplished all this work, to have his own firm and have such important clients. It’s a dream he always had to have something to be proud of.

He’s so engrossed in his reading that he doesn’t hear the front door opening and closing. When there’s a knock on his door he jumps in surprise almost falling out of the bed.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you” Kylo says getting in his room, his gym bag is still in his hand but he’s dressed in jeans and a black shirt with his arms and tattoo fully on display and his hair in a bun. He looks hot.

Hux has a hand over his heart trying to calm down his breathing after being startled like this “Now, you’re giving me heart problems too on top of the brain injury” Hux says.

“Sorry” Kylo says again raising his hands up in surrender.

“It’s okay” Hux says, looking at the time he frowns “It’s almost ten. Is your class usually this late?”

“Yes, we finished at nine fifteen. Took a shower and here I am” Kylo says.

“Do you always shower there?” Hux asks.

“Usually yes, it relaxes me” Kylo says.

“Did you have diner yet?” Hux asks trying not to let his eyes wonder over Kylo’s body and imagining him in the shower all wet.

“No and I’m starving” Kylo says groaning.

“There’s still some leftovers in the fridge if you want” Hux says.

“Perfect” Kylo says and leaves Hux’s room.

Hux thinks about following him and sitting next to him while he eats but he stays where he is, listening to him moving around in the kitchen. He tries to concentrate back on his work but he’s unable to.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a Techie/Matt chapter from Techie's POV.
> 
> Taking a break from Hux and Kylo to have a little glimpse at Techie's life with Matt.

Techie is so tired, he’s been trying his best to act as if everything is fine with Armitage but right now he feels drained out. Seeing his brother lying in a hospital bed after being hit by a car was hard on him and the loss of memory wasn’t helping it was fun at the beginning but now he needs his brother back.

To top it all the anniversary of their father death was in a couple of weeks and as much as he tried to show that he didn’t care and that everything is fine, he can’t help how it actually bothers him a little.

He feels himself slipping into a little bit of a depressive state and the anxiety is not helping, he barely moved from bed today. He hasn’t eaten anything and he needs a shower. Matt will come home soon and see him like this.

Two scenarios come to his head the first one is Matt concerned eyes seeing him like this and trying to make him get out of bed to shower, Matt will probably even wash his hair for him and then make him a sandwich or order pizza. Second scenario Matt will see him like this and feel disgusted for having a mess of a boyfriend and scream at him for being useless and then leave him.

The second scenario will never happen, Matt is not his father but he can’t help but expect it.

He hears the door opening and closing, he straightens his pose sitting up more waiting for Matt to get into the room.

“Techie you’re here?” Matt screams from somewhere in the apartment.

Techie clears his throat before answering “Bedroom” he screams back at Matt. A few seconds later Matt is in the doorway.

“Hey” He says smiling at him until he actually gets a look at him and his smile fades and turns into a concerned frown “Is something wrong?” he asks softly coming to sit next to Techie on the bed.

He tries to hide behind his hair “Bad day” he mumbles. Warm hands push his hair behind his ear and Matt bends down and kisses his forehead letting his lips rest there a little before moving back.

“It’s okay” Matt says and Techie tries to meet his eyes. Matt is staring at him with a small smile on his face and big brown eyes filled with concern but also with affection and love. He feels like crying.

“I’m sorry” Techie says voice wavering, he tries to hide his face behind his hair again but Matt pulls him into a hug and doesn’t let go.

“Don’t ever apologize for what you’re feeling” Matt says against his hair. Techie pulls himself closer into Matt arms and nods against his chest.

“Have you eaten anything today?” Matt asks while slowly stroking Techie’s back.

“No” Techie says.

“Do you want to? Do you feel hungry?” Matt says.

“I don’t know” Techie says “I feel like taking a shower I feel disgusting right now”

“You’re never disgusting” Matt says releasing Techie from the hug only to pull him back into his arm to carry him into the bathroom. Techie yelps and throws his arms around Matt’s neck.

“I can walk” Techie says.

“I’d rather carry you” Matt says grinning at him, he always liked to show Techie how strong he is.

Matt puts him down once they’re in the bathroom “Can I help or do you want to be alone?” he says.

“Stay” Techie says, Matt smiles at him and helps him get out of his clothes and into the shower. Techie just stands there in a haze watching Matt take of his clothes and join him, setting the water to just the right temperature.

Techie let’s himself be pushed gently under the water and closes his eyes. He hears Matt grabbing the bottle of shampoo and squeezing it.

Slowly Matt thread his fingers through Techie’s hair massaging his head. Techie leans his head back to give him better access. This feels good and is soothing helping some of the anxiety out of his system.

“Move your head back more so I can rinse it” Matt says.

Techie doesn’t say anything but he does as Matt said, closing his eyes and letting water wash all over him.

He feels Matt’s breath on his neck and then soft lips and a kiss, Techie tenses he’s not in the mood for anything sexual. Matt feels him tensing and takes a step back resting his hands on Techie shoulders and massaging them.

“I’m not going to do anything, I just want you to relax” Matt says softly.

Techie feels like crying because how can Matt be so understanding and love him so much when he is such a mess.

They stay like this for a while, Techie enjoying the warmth of the water and of Matt behind him. When it becomes a little bit uncomfortable “Can we get out, I think that I can eat now” Techie says.

“Of course” Matt says gently.

Matt gets out first and then gives his hand to Techie to help him out of the shower. He wraps a towel around his own waist and one around Techie.

“Is this about something or it just happened?” Matt asks.

Techie takes a deep breath trying to compose his thoughts “It’s a little bit of everything and I just snapped today and could barely do anything about it except just lay in bed all day” he says.

“It’s okay don’t worry” Matt says drying Techie hair with a towel, Techie closes his eyes and tries to relax by taking deep breaths and concentrating on Matt and the movement of his hands against Techies head and the gentleness of him.

“Thank you” Techie says.

Matt bends down and kisses him on his forehead trying to make him feel how much he is loved.

“You should have called me” Matt says.

“I didn’t want to bother you and I wanted to be alone for a little while” Techie says opening his eyes and looking up at Matt giving him a small smile to show how that he’s feeling better right now.

“Is it about your brother?” Matt asks.

“Some of it but not all of it” Techie says sighing “I don’t really want to talk about it”

“Okay then we won’t” Matt says “What do you want to eat?”

“Can you decide. Please?” Techie says.

“Then it’s going to be pizza” Matt says grinning.

Techie can’t help laughing at Matt expression. Sometimes he wonders if he deserves someone who loves him and cares for him as much as Matt does. He’s finally learning that _yes_ he does deserve to be loved and cared for.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might edited later but I wanted to post it now I know it's been a while but I've lost a little bit of motivation and I was busy let's hope I start uploading faster again
> 
> Sorry if it's not long enough but I needed to post it like this just to stop staring at it

Hux wakes up gasping, he’s all sweaty and he’s hard, so hard. He closes his eyes rubbing them hard with his hands, trying to control his breathing but all he sees are big strong arms holding him and the feeling of a hot tongue on his body.

He knows who that body belongs too but refuses to admit to it.

He can’t go back to sleep like this, he’s all sweaty and he needs to take care of the problem that is in his pants, he reaches for his phone it’s almost 3AM. He sighs, and sits up in bed pushing the sheets away to head to the bathroom and take a very cold shower.

He can’t stop his hands from wondering down and he’s stroking himself slowly he tries his best not to think about Kylo but he can’t he feels him next to him in the shower just behind him, back to chest his hand instead of Hux’s hand and he’s the one stroking Hux slowly, teasing him. He feels his lips on his neck and his other hand on his hip holding him tight.

He comes like that thinking about Kylo hands and lips on his body.

He can’t believe what just happened, he can’t deny his attraction to Kylo anymore. He doesn’t know how he’s going to face him when he sees him in the morning, especially if he’s shirtless.

He towels himself dry and tries to think about anything but Kylo, not his lips, not his hands, not his tattoos, not his chest…

It’s impossible, he goes back to bed not bothering to get dressed and takes his phone searching through his emails maybe work will distract him.

When he finally gets out of bed he throws on the closest pants and shirt that he find and heads to the kitchen, just to be greeted by Kylo's bare chest. It’s a very good view but not what Hux needs right now. He must have been staring a little bit too hard at Kylo's chest because he hears a throat clearing. He snapps his head up, meeting Kylo's amused eyes and he is hoping really hard that he isn't blushing.

"Good Morning" Kylo says trying to hide his smirk behind his coffee mug.

"Morning" Hux says and gets passed him to get his own coffee.

"Did you sleep well?" Kylo asks.

"Not really but it's nothing a few cup of coffees can't fix" Hux says.

Kylo hums around his mug and Hux can feel his eyes on him even though he has his back turned. He feels self-conscious, he hasn't had this feeling in a while. What does he even look like right now? His hair is probably a mess, the sweatpants he is wearing are so unflattering and he just noticed that he’s wearing one of Kylo's star wars again.

He must have look strange because he hears Kylo taking a few steps towards him.

"Hux?" Kylo says too close to Hux can feel his breath against his hair. He feels a hard chest against his back and freezes.  

He's not even breathing.

"Yes?" Hux says trying his best to sound normal but it just sounds breathless.

"Are you okay?" Kylo says.

"Yes" Hux says again, he still hasn't moved.

He feels hands on his shoulders applying a little bit of pressure for him to turn around. He turns around slowly glaring at Kylo because how dare he make Hux feel this way.

Kylo looks at him completely confused but Hux can't handle it. Kylo is too close, looking so soft in the morning with his hair all mussed and Hux can't stop himslef for leaning in and kissing him.

He feels the moment Kylo realise what is happening because suddenly Hux is being pressed into the counter and strong hands are holding him in place by his hips.

Breathing has never been so hard.

He feels as if he's on fire, Kylo's body against his is perfect, he is clutching Kylo's shoulder so hard that he hopes it will bruise. He's not even thinking his brain doesn't have enough oxygen for that. It feels so good.

Then it's all gone.

Kylo steps back from him, lips swollen and eyes wide. Hux doesn't know if he is supposed to say something, he's not sorry about it but Kylo expression is hard to read. Finally, Kylo looks like he snapped out of it, he turns around almost running to his room and slams the door.

Hux takes a shuddering breath, he's still frozen in place. Did he cross a line? Kylo seemed into the kiss but why did he run away then?

Maybe he shouldn't have kissed him. He stays like this for a few more minutes just staring at nothing, trying to process what just happened. He doesn’t regret it not at all, he wants more bu Kylo shouldn’t have run away, if he didn’t want it he could have said no and Hux would have stopped immediately. Why did he run away?

Hux takes a deep breath shaking his head a little trying to regain his thought process and then he goes back to his room and gets dressed.

 Just before leaving he knocks on Kylo's door “Ren?” No answer “Kylo I’m leaving” he says to the closed door.

There is no answer.

On his way to work he realizes that he forgot to drink his coffee but he doesn't need it anymore. He pushes the idea of Kylo to the back of his mind all day, he doesn't text him or call him, he concentrate on his work but sometimes he can still feel warm hands on his hips.

When he goes back home that night, he’s nervous he rehearsed in his head what he is going to say to Kylo. All the lights are off when he gets in. Kylo isn’t home yet.

Hux waits for him, he plays with Millicent, he makes dinner for two but eats it alone and putting the second half in the fridge.

Before taking his shower he calls him. It rings and rings but Kylo doesn’t answer.

He can’t sleep and he can’t concentrate on anything. He’s just sitting up in bed with the lights still on, in Kylo’s shirt staring at the wall.

He closes his eyes replaying the kiss.

_“Finally” he whispers against Kylo’s lips when they kiss for the first time._

He snaps his eyes open because that was not from the memory of this morning.


	11. Chapter 11

Did he just remember something?

No, of course not. He and Kylo shouldn’t have kissed before. Kylo would have told him if they had or if they were in some sort of relationship.

Or maybe he wouldn't tell him.

 

He grabs his phone and calls Kylo again. He doesn't answer. He is so mad right now, Kylo cannot keep something like that from him but the look in his eyes this morning and the way he knew how to kiss and touch Hux proves that what Hux just imagined, no, remembered is the actual truth.

He doesn’t know what to do because he needs answers right now and the person who is supposed to give him answers won't talk to him, maybe Techie knows something.

He calls him.

"Armie" Techie says when he answers.

"Are you home?" Hus asks.

Techie is silent for a few seconds "Why?"

"I need to ask you something and I really don't want to be alone right now" Hux says.

"Alone? Why? Where is Kylo?" Techie asks he sounds worried and confused.

"I'll tell you when I see you. I'll be there in 10 minutes" Hux says and hangs up before Techie can say anything more.

He gets there pretty quickly and rings for Techie to let him in.

It's not Techie who opens the door, it's a tall blond man probably about Kylo's size who’s wearing huge glasses that really don't go with his face.

"Who are you?" Hux says.

The man sighs "I'm Matt and you kind of hate me that's why Techie hasn't told you about me yet"

"I pretty much hate everyone. Is there any particular reason for me to hate you?" Hux says, raising an eyebrow.

The man chuckles "I'm Techie's boyfriend and I don't know why you hate me Hux, maybe it's a protective big brother thing" he says shrugging.

"He feels that you're taking me away from him and that I don't need or want him anymore because I have you" comes Techie voice from behind Matt, he looks tired, his hair is falling around his face, he has dark circles under his eyes and he's only wearing a big yellow T-shirt that is way too big for him but would probably fit Math really well. He can't help but think about Kylo's Star Wars T-shirt that he usually wears and that he is wearing right now.

 

"Are we going to stay here or are you going to invite me in and tell me why you haven't told me that you have a boyfriend" Hux says.

Techie nods his hair falling on his face and gesture for Hux to come in. Hux glares at Matt and gets in, he can hear him sighs from behind him.

They settle in the living room, Hux waits for one of them to talk but Techie looks so small hiding behind his hair and Matt is looking at Techie worried.

Hux takes a deep breath and massages his temples "Why didn't you tell me about him? If you are actually with him and happy I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have minded"

"It's not that" Techie says so low that Hux has to physically get closer to Techie to hear what he is saying.

"Then what?" Hux says trying to remain patient and not snap at his brother.

"You already had enough to handle and I didn't want you to get all over protective about me, like you did when you firstly discovered that Matt and I where dating" Techie says.

"You're my little brother I can worry if I want too" Hux says.

"It's not that you worry Armie, it's like you try to dictate my life. I can love whoever I want, it's not up to you" Techie says.

"It's not about that, you should have told me" Hux says.

"You already knew Hux but you can't remember" Techie says sounding tired.

"It's not my fault" Hux snaps at him, Matt glares at him.

"Is there a reason why you are here? What did Kylo do this time? What did you do this time? Is he okay?" Matt says, he looks concerned and looks at the door as if Kylo is going to appear of nowhere, Hux wishes it were true.

"Did he talk to you?" Hux says looking between Techie and Matt.

Techie shakes his head.

"No, he didn't." Matt says frowning "Why? What happened?"

"I was thinking that I was going crazy but apparently you are not above hiding relationships from me. Were Kylo and me in a relationship?" Hux says without warning because he is mad and he doesn't like something this important to be hidden from him.

Techie eyes go wide and Hux has his answer from that. Matt chuckles "Relationship? It was mostly you too doing it all over the place and then acting like nothing happened" he says.

"What?" Hux says because he wasn't expecting that.

Matt looks guilty "Wait" he says looking at Techie "You didn't tell him?"

"It's not me that didn't tell him, Kylo didn't want me too" Techie says.

 

"That makes no sense" Matt says.

"It's between them, Matt we shouldn't interfere" Techie says.

"You or Kylo should have told him it's a part of his life too" Matt says.

Hux just looks back and forth between the two of them, trying to make sense of what he just heard. The confusion gives away to anger.

"Shut up. Both of you" Hux says.

Techie and Matt both closes their mouths and look at Hux so quickly and in sync that it would have been funny if Hux wasn't so angry right now.

"Kylo hasn't been answering my calls and texts since this morning. Does any of you two has any idea where he could be?" Hux says.

"Gym" says Matt quickly and Techie slaps his arm.

"What did you do Armie?" Techie says.

Hux looks at him he doesn't know if he should tell him or no "I kissed him" he says.

"Oh, Armie" Techie says and Hux gets up and heads to the door before Techie can get up and hug him.

He doesn't need a hug, he needs Kylo to tell him what the hell is happening and why didn't he tell him. It's not such a big deal if they were sleeping together.

"You don't even know where the gym is, do you" He hears Matt saying just right as he's opening the door.

"Are you going to tell me?" Hux says not turning around.

"Only if you promise not to hurt him" Matt says.

"I won't. I just want answers" Hux says.

"I'll text you the location" Matt says.

"Thanks" Hux says and leaves without slamming the door. He's still mad at Techie he shouldn't have lied to him but right now he's going to find Kylo Ren and demand answers from him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so much time to update but I've been a little bit busy

He's shaking, there is no denying it, he is nervous. He still can't believe that Techie and Kylo lied to him.

When he gets to the gym, he tries to control his nerves but he can't every time he thinks about what he is supposed to say to Kylo his mind goes blank. How does anyone confronts someone in this situation.

Its dark inside almost all the lights has been turned off.

There's still lights on in some rooms and Hux checks them one by one, Kylo is in the third one, beating the hell out of a punching bag. Hux stop and watches him. His movements are mesmerizing, Hux can't look away, especially from his arms.

As if he felt him looking, Kylo looks his way and stops mid move. His eyes go wide and he opens his mouth but he doesn't say anything, he looks down letting the few strands of hair that escaped from his bun cover his face.

Hux should say something but he also feels like words have left him.

Kylo clears his throat "What are you doing here? How did you even know how to find this place? You barely even came here before?" Kylo says looking up frowning at Hux.

"Matt gave me the address but this isn't important right now, I'm here to talk to you about the fact that you've been lying to me" Hux says taking a few step closer to Kylo and pointing a finger at him.

Kylo crosses his arms in front of his chest "I don't know what you're talking about" he says.

Hux laughs "Yes, of course, nothing. Are you sure? Because Matt and Techie are pretty sure we were sleeping together and I kind of remember us kissing."

"You're remembering?" Kylo says, eyes going wide and taking a step as if he was coming towards Hux but he stops and stays in his place.

"This is not the point right now. You lied to me" Hux says, raising his voice at the last part.

"Not really. I did not lie, you just didn't ask" Kylo says shrugging.

"Are you for real right now?" Hux says "Don't act this way, you should have told me that we were...What the hell were we?" Hux says.

"We were nothing Hux, you made it very clear, we just would have sex sometimes but it's not like you ever cared" Kylo says.

"What does that even mean?" Hux says.

"It means what it means Hux, it's nothing just don't blow it out of proportions" Kylo says.

"I'm not the one who's being over dramatic, Ren. You're the one who ran out when we kissed or are you having memory problems too?" Hux says.

Kylo glares at him "I don't want to have this conversation right now" he says.

"Well, we are having it right now because I remembered us kissing for the first time and I want to know everything" Hux says.

"There is nothing to say, Hux. We started having sex, it was great but then like an idiot I started having feelings for you but you didn't and I couldn't just do it anymore that's it. Just stop" Kylo says.

Hux doesn't know how to respond to this. Kylo just admitted that he had, has? Feelings for him and that Hux didn't return them and now he kind of understand why he ran away.

"Oh" Hux says, he looks away from Kylo because he doesn't want to look at his heartbroken face right now and know that he is the cause for it, that when he opened his eyes in that hospital and saw this man, it was a man who actually cared for him and stayed with him even if he didn't feel the same.

Kylo remains silent, the silence is too heavy for Hux, filled with so many unsaid things. Hux feels like he should apologize but he doesn't know about what.

"I don't know what to say" he ends up saying.

"You don't have to say anything, you already said what you wanted to say" Kylo says.

"Yes, but I don't remember it. Look, Ren, I don't remember enough but I do care about you, I don't know how much maybe it's not as much as you would like it to be but I do care. I'm certain that I cared too, I wouldn't let anyone stay with me for so long if I didn't care about them. I wish I remembered more about our relationship maybe I will remember and know what I was actually thinking or feeling but you are important to me and I want you to come back home and then we'll figure the rest out, together" Hux says looking at Kylo hopeful because even though he's not sure about his own feelings toward Kylo he is certain that he wants him in his life.

Kylo nods "Just let me go get my things and we'll go home" he says.

"Okay" Hux says smiling at him "I'll wait in the lobby"

They walk too close to each other on their way to Kylo's car, Hux doesn't let himself lean into Kylo because he's not sure if he wants too or if he's too afraid to want it. He's so tense and Kylo is silent next to him and Hux doesn't know if he is supposed to say something to break the silence or just let it be.

They finally get home and Hux is still on edge because it takes him a few tries to get the keys to work.

"You okay?" Kylo says he sounds half amused and half concerned.

"Fine" Hux says too quickly and opening the door a little bit too aggressively.

Millicent is nowhere in sight, which is bad because Hux is in need of a distraction right now.

"Hux, calm down" Kylo says from behind him, closing the door.

"I am calm" Hux says turning around to face him, Kylo is clearly not convinced.

"We don't have to talk" Kylo says.

"What are we supposed to do then?" Hux says irritated.

"Nothing" Kylo says.

"What?" Hux says.

"We don't have to do anything, we talked about it already. I have feelings for you and you're not sure about your feelings for me" Kylo says.

"Yes, but we need a solution" Hux says.

"There isn't any problem Hux. Its feelings, you can't just fix them" Kylo says.

"What are you trying to say?" Hux says.

"What you need is time, Hux. Maybe you'll never remember, what you need to do is figure out what you want right now and when you figure it out tell me and then we'll see what we can do" Kylo says.

"Okay, that's good" Hux says.

"Great, I've had a few really tiring days, so I'm going to shower and then straight to bed" Kylo says.

"Don't you want to eat?" Hux says.

"Now that you mention it, yes I am kind of hungry" Kylo says

"I'll make you a sandwich or something while you shower. What do you like?" Hux says.

"Surprise me" Kylo says grinning and heads to his room.

Hux shakes his head smiling at Kylo’s retreating back. He can do this, he just needs a little bit of time and he’ll figure everything out.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a long time but I've been super busy.
> 
> This chapter is short but I needed to write something so that I can get into the story again and show you guys that I haven't given up on this story.

After their conversation, they try to act normal around each other, they're not good at pretending but they both do their best and it kind of works.

Hux is torn, sometimes he just wants to grab Kylo and kiss him and sometimes he wants nothing to do with him.

It’s hard not to care about Kylo, the way he acts around Hux now that he told Hux his true feelings are too much for Hux, Kylo is so soft with him, he’s freer with his smiles and he seems to forget to wear shirts around the house more often now and he accidently flexes his shoulders and arms too much.

Hux is suffering.

“I’m thinking about getting another tattoo” Kylo says snapping Hux out of his thought of Kylo’s body.

“What of and where?” Hux asks scanning Kylo’s body to see where would be the best place for a new tattoo. Kylo looks smug when Hux’s eyes go back to his face and Hux rolls his eyes at him trying his best not to blush.

“Not sure yet but I was thinking on my back” Kylo says.

“Mmm, yes you don’t have a lot of tattoos on your back” Hux says.

“Yup” Kylo says.

“You didn’t answer, what kind of tattoo would you like?” Hux says.

“I was thinking a portrait of Millicent” Kylo says.

“You’re not serious, are you?” Hux says incredulous because Kylo is just the right kind of crazy to do these kinds of things but he hopes he’s joking.

“Why not?” Kylo asks but the amused look in his eyes doesn’t fool Hux.

“It’s you’re back do whatever you want with it” Hux says.

“Maybe I’ll do a portrait of you” Kylo says.

“Please don’t” Hux says.

“I’ll do it in color too” Kylo says.

“I’m leaving this conversation now, I have to go get ready anyway” Hux says.

Kylo laugh follows him to his room once the door is closed Hux allow himself to laugh too. He shakes his head and starts getting dressed.

When he’s ready dressing in a dark grey suit he leaves his room, Kylo has a morning class so they leave the house at the same time.

Hux puts some food for Millicent just before following Kylo out of the door.

“I’ll be late tonight” Kylo says while locking the door behind him.

“Why?” Hux asks frowning. He wonders for a sec if Kylo is trying to avoid him.

“Nothing to worry about, it’s just a class that some people missed and they’re insisting on taking it back and I won’t say no to extra money” Kylo says shrugging.

“Oh, that’s good” Hux says as long as it’s just this time there’s nothing to worry about he thinks.

“I’ll get us dinner on the way back” Kylo says smiling at him.

“That would be great” Hux says smiling back.

They then each go their separate ways to work.

 

Hux gets to work in a good mood and the morning passes quickly, he takes a small lunch break with Phasma just to catch on some work.

It’s already the afternoon and Hux is reading up on some of his old cases when someone knocks on his door startling him.

“Yes?” he says raising his head to look at who it is.

The door opens and it’s Techie.

“Hey” Techie says getting into the office.

Hux straightens in his chair he hasn’t spoken to Techie since the day he was at his apartment.

“Hey” Hux says “How are you?”

“Good, I was checking on the servers and I thought I should pass to say hello” Techie says.

“Yes of course” Hux says.

Techie sits on one of the chairs in front of Hux’s office.

“Did you talk to Kylo?” Techie asks. Straight to the point this is how Techie has always been. More people should be like this.

“Yes, we did talk” Hux says taking a deep breath.

“And?” Techie says.

“We talked and he said that he has some feelings for me but the me from before the amnesia didn’t care for him and I asked him to give me some time because the me now is super confused about everything” Hux says.

“Oh” Techie says.

“Oh?” Hux says raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, I just thought that I don’t know you ’de both face your feelings and kiss and stuff” Techie says shrugging.

“Kiss and stuff” Hux says laughing “What are we twelve”

“It looks like it. What are you doing right now dancing around each other” Techie says.

“It’s not that I don’t want to kiss him and stuff it’s the opposite I really want to but him having feelings for me complicates things.” Hux says.

“How?” Techie asks.

“I feel like I’m using him” Hux says.

“But you won’t be” Techie says.

“It feels like it but at the same time it feels like it’s not me that he wants it’s the me from before” Hux says.

“You’re the same person” Techie says.

“Not really. Knowing me maybe I did have feelings for him but I ignored them” Hux says.

“Yes” Techie says.

“I don’t know what to do” Hux says “I wish my memories would just come back”

“What if they never come back?” Techie says.

“I hope not” Hux says.

“I know you feel like having your memories back will solve all your problems but they may just add more questions” Techie says.

“I know” Hux says.

“Do you want him or not?” Techie asks.

“I want him” Hux almost whispers.

Techie is silent.

“What?” Hux asks.

“Nothing I was going to tell you to just tell him but I know it’s not that easy” Techie says with a small smile.

Hux just remembers about Matt “Why didn’t you tell me about Matt?” he asks.

Techie blushes “I don’t know Hux like I said some things seem easy to say but they’re not”

“I know but I don’t want you to be afraid to tell me things” Hux says.

“I try my best but you know me it’s hard” Techie says.

“I know, it’s okay” Hux says.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaay this time it didn't take too long to update.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter and tell me what you think!

All the way home Hux keeps thinking about what Techie said and that he should do something about it. The problem is that he doesn't want to take advantage of Kylo's feelings for him because he doesn't know if what he is feeling for Kylo is just attraction or if he has real feelings for him and Hux wants to know but he doesn't want to hurt Kylo who has already suffered emotionally because of him. He doesn't want Kylo to feel like Hux is using him.

He is almost glad that Kylo isn't home yet because it gave him time to think, Millicent is on him the moment he walks in, he scoops her up and goes to feed her.

"What do you think I should do Millie? I'm afraid for some reason I don't know what I should do. What would other me have done?" He says to Millicent which completely ignores him because she is a cat and is too busy eating, he sighs rubbing his temples.  
  
He is starving but he told Kylo that they would have dinner together so he decides to just go shower and change and wait for him for dinner. The shower feels good it relaxes his muscle and helps a little bit with his nerves but when he gets dressed again the first thing he grabs is one of Kylo's shirts, he looks at it for a moment debating about wearing it or not. At the end he pulls it over his head and grabs some sweatpants to wear with it.

He goes to the living room and sits on the couch turning the TV on while waiting for Kylo.

As soon as he hears the door open he jumps from the couch and goes straight to the door to greet Kylo.

"Thank god, I'm starving!" Hux says.

"Hey" Kylo says, one hand holding their food and the other his gym bag. How did he even open the door? Hux doesn't care he is so hungry.

Kylo grins at him "I got the food so you won't be starving for long" he says and heads to the kitchen to place the food bags on the counter.

Hux helps him take the food out of the bags and into plates, Kylo goes to his room to drop his gym bag and comes right back while tying his hair in a bun smiling softly at him.

He looks good with his hair like that and that smile does something to Hux that he doesn't want to think about. That man should just stop Hux can't handle it anymore. Hux takes a deep breath trying to control his thoughts.

"I was thinking that we could eat in the living room" Hux says to Kylo when Kylo sits on one of the kitchen's chair.

"Yes, why not" Kylo says shrugging and gets up.

They take their plates and move to the living room, Hux sits on the couch finding a comfortable position and puts his plate on his lap while Kylo sits on the floor his back to the couch.

It's nice like this. There is no awkwardness, just Hux freaking out all by himself.

"How was your day?" Hux asks breaking the silence.

"Good but a little bit tiring. You weren't the only one who was starving I'm pretty sure everyone heard my stomach growling at one point" Kylo says, Hux laughs "How was yours? Is it getting better at work?"

"Yes, it's getting easier. I'm almost up to date with all of our clients. It's nice to see what I have accomplished but just thinking about all the work that I did gives me anxiety. I work a lot" Hux says, he meant it as a joke but he feels Kylo tensing anyway.

"Yes, you do" Kylo says between bites "But it's you it would be weird if you did things halfway"

That's true.

He knows what he has to do now.

Hux moves from his position on the couch, he puts his plate on the table and takes a deep breath.

"Kylo?" he says.

Kylo stops chewing for a moment and looks up at him eyebrows raised.

"I need to say something" Hux says.

Kylo swallows and says "Okay" he places his plate on the table next to Hux's and stares at Hux expectantly.

Hux is at a complete loss of words he has no idea how to say what he wants to say.

He is shaking.

This whole situation is ridiculous.

Kylo is still looking up at him, big brown eyes getting more and more confused and Hux doesn't need to say anything.

He just needs to act.

He gets down from the couch and sits down on the floor right next to Kylo.

Hux is usually good with words but never in these kinds of situations he leans into Kylo closing the distance between them.

It's barely a touch of lips but for Hux it feels like more, much much more. He leans back he needs to see Kylo's expression. Look into his eyes and see what kind of look he's going to get in return. Kylo is looking at Hux with huge eyes, then he stares at Hux's lips and he licks his own.

Then he moves, so quick that Hux doesn't even see him move but he is being pressed to the couch and Kylo is on him, he opens his mouth in surprise and Kylo takes advantage of that and shoves his tongue in Hux's mouth.

Hux can do nothing more but kiss him back, his hands are in Kylo's hair freeing them from the bun so that he has full access.

"I love it when you wear my clothes" Kylo says against Hux's mouth before kissing him again.

I Love wearing your clothes Hux thinks but his mouth is too preoccupied at the moment to form words.

As if something clicks in Kylo's head, he let's go of Hux and moves a little back looking at him with serious eyes.

"I don't understand" Kylo says.

"I..." Hux starts but he doesn't know what to say because he's still catching his breath his brain is still a little bit hazy from the kiss.

He clears his throat "I want you" he says.

Kylo just stares at him doesn't say anything but his eyes are so expressive and there is so many different emotions going on, that Hux is lost but then he sees a flash of hurt.

"Look Ren, just listen okay don't jump to conclusion. It's my fault I wanted to talk about it but I jumped you instead of actually talking about it. I do want you but I'm afraid to hurt you because I don't even know what I want, it's just everything is so confusing but I know that I want you but I'm afraid that you might be holding on onto the other me and I don't know how to deal with that because I'm not him or maybe I am I don't know..." Hux says he doesn't know what he is saying he's just rambling.

"Okay, calm down. I get what you're saying" Kylo says.

"You do?" Hux asks because he doesn’t know what he is saying.

Kylo laughs "Yes, I know you Hux you're still the same...kind of. You want this right? Something to happen between us?" Kylo says.

Hux nods.

"But you're afraid, of hurting me or not living up to my expectations?" Kylo says.

Hux nods again.

Kylo sighs tugging at his hair.

"We could give this a try. I wouldn't mind" Kylo says hopefully but refusing to meet Hux's eyes.

Hux wants this. He's not going to run away from it this time.

Hux shuffles closer to him and slowly takes hold of Kylo's face he kisses him softly and Kylo's eyes flutter close.

"That would be perfect" Hux says.  
  
Then he kisses Kylo's smile.


	15. Chapter 15

They spent almost the whole night making out on the living room floor, Hux was afraid to take things too far and Kylo was making a great effort to keep things slow even though he could feel how much Kylo just wanted to lose control in Hux but that didn't stop his hands from roaming all over Kylo's chest.

When they finally stopped kissing, they kept glancing at each other with little smiles on their faces, even now Hux couldn't stop smiling even though he should stop and just try to sleep.

They ended up finally getting up, doing the dishes and then with a last kiss, they went to their separate bedrooms and now Hux is lying on his back in his bed wearing Kylo's shirt and he can't stop smiling, his face hurt it's not used to this much smiling.

He turns over grabbing his pillow and hugging it, trying to quiet his mind but it keeps going back to Kylo, he can still feel Kylo's mouth and he can still taste his tongue. He has to admit to himself that he wants more but he can't he has to keep this slow for his own sake and for Kylo's to. He doesn't want to rush everything and end up the way him and Kylo were before his accident.

He wishes he remembered how they were so that he can learn from his mistakes and try to fix them but it's looking like his memory won't come back and right now he's not even sure if he wants them to.

He falls asleep thinking about Kylo so it's no surprise that he dreams of him. He dreams of Kylo being in bed next to him, his arm around Hux's waist and his breath tickling Hux's neck. He dreams about waking up in the morning to that.

To wake Kylo up by tracing the tattoos on his arm and Kylo waking up to the feeling of Hux in his arms. Hux never knew that what he wanted was feeling soft and warm in the arms of someone but it feels like this is what he should wake up and feel every morning he wants that feeling that he's having in his dream.

But when he wakes up, he's alone in bed he just stares at the place next to him where Kylo was in his dreams and then he frowns, he remembers something Kylo said about his bed after the accident something about Hux’s bed being comfortable and then trying to change the subject, it makes sense now that should have been the first clue of the nature of his relationship with Kylo.

That means Kylo has already been in his bed and he liked it. It shouldn't be hard to get him in it again.

Calm down, he thinks. They agreed that this should be slow.

 

He gets out of bed and goes to the kitchen to start his morning routine, he's pouring his cup of coffee mentally making his work plan for the day.

"Hey" comes Kylo's voice from behind him. His voice is rough from sleep and Hux can't stop himself from smiling.

"Hey" he says back turning around to face Kylo.

Kylo is closer than Hux thought there's only like a couple of footsteps between them, as always Kylo is shirtless and Hux wants to touch. Last night everything was touched over clothes but having all that skin in front of him and after the dream he had Hux can't stop himself.

He slowly closes the distance between them, he puts his hand on Kylo's chest, Kylo looks at him with wide sleepy eyes. Hux leans in and kisses him, his other hand come up to thread through the mess that Kylo's hair is right now. It's like Kylo thinks that he's dreaming because he leans back a little looking at Hux and brings his hand up to trace Hux's lips with it. Hux can't stop himself from licking and that snaps Kylo out of it.

His hand goes to Hux's neck angling it just right and kisses him hard. His other hand goes to grab Hux's ass as if it's too early to Kylo to control his needs. Hux can't stop the little shiver, he opens his mouth to Kylo's tongue and it all feels so good.

Kylo's tongue in his mouth, Kylo's hands on him. The feel of Kylo's hard chess under his hand and the texture of his hair through Hux's hand. Like the last time Kylo pushes Hux against the counter but this time he hoists him up so that Hux is sitting on it. It's automatic Hux wraps his legs around Kylo.

When their erections touch through the fabric, Hux freezes. Kylo feels him freeze because he groans and licks at Hux's lips before letting them go. Hux's legs fall from Kylo's waist.

They're both breathing heavily, Kylo's hair is even more of a mess then it was before the kiss, he's flushed and his lips are a little bit swollen. Hux doesn't want to know what he looks like.

Hux clears his throat "Well, good morning"

Kylo laughs throwing his head back "Yes, it is" he says smiling at Hux.

Hux is still sitting on the counter and Kylo hands him his cup of coffee that Hux completely forgot about while kissing Kylo. He feels so awake right now that he feels like he doesn't even need coffee.

He watches Kylo pour his own cup and lay back against the counter next to Hux.

"Do you have morning classes today?" Hux asks.

"Yes, I was wondering if you could drop me of?" Kylo says.

"Of course" Hux says.

"Great" Kylo says.

They slip into a comfortable silence but Hux can feel the tension between them. He can feel how much Kylo wants to reach for him to touch him and he wants to have Kylo wrapped around him like he was a few minutes ago but he's stronger than that and he knows that in the long term it would be better for them to control their instincts right now.

He finishes his coffee and hops down from the counter "I'm going to get dressed before I get late"

"You're the boss Hux you're never late" Kylo says.

"It's because I'm the boss it means that I should set up a good example" Hux says.

He can feel Kylo's eye roll when he says "Whatever".

 

 

Hux looks at his reflection in the mirror, he is flushed and his eyes are a little bit hazy. He rubs his beard, he just noticed that he's been keeping it just because Kylo mentioned that he liked it, he sighs it's not like he's going to shave it now unless Kylo complains about the beard burn.

Let's not think about that now and just get dressed.

He's surprised when he sees Kylo already waiting for him with Millicent circling between his legs when she sees Hux she goes to him, he bends down to pet her. She then leaves to go to the couch. Hux laughs at her.

“She is so spoiled” Hux says.

“Yes” Kylo says laughing “but she’s cute so she gets away with it”

Kylo opens the door for him and then locks it behind them.

When they get to the gym, just before Kylo leaves the car he kisses Hux it's slow but it's still charged with electricity and everything that happened this morning.

"Have a good day" Kylo says against his lips then pecks him one last time and leaves the car.

Hux just stares after him, let's out a laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. He shakes his head to get himself to focus and pulls out of the parking spot to go to work.

He's going to buy Techie lunch to thank him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it, kudos and comments are always appreciated and make me happy!
> 
> Here's [my tumblr](http://chillanddrinkcoffee.tumblr.com/) and my [kylux sideblog](https://carefulrenthatsenough.tumblr.com/)


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